I Will Love You
by smanfan
Summary: Sookie is 28 years old, and has been happily married to Eric for two years. What happens when an accident changes all of that? AH
1. Chapter 1

_a/n: still actively writing About a Girl and a Boy, but this idea popped into my head and I wanted to write some of it before I forgot. Let me know if anyone is interested in seeing more of this story. =)_

I walked along the rocky coast, as the fog began to settle in for the evening. Thick grey clouds had hung overhead all day and it matched my mood quite well. The roar of the surf to my left was dim since the waves were small today. Without the sun even the water was a drab shade of grey. I walked along the beach in an old pair of white Keds. In Maine most of the beaches were rocky until you got into the water. So walking around barefoot was not the best choice.

I was alone as I walked in the direction of the old lighthouse. Harper's Light had been on this rocky point for years. There was a rundown house that used to be for the lighthouse keeper. But many years ago they had switched everything over to solar power so no one was needed to run the lighthouse anymore. People just came once in awhile to make sure the solar panel system was working. I always found it a bit sad to see the old keeper's house with peeling paint and broken windows.

My husband Eric would agree with me. We walked down this beach all the time together, since we lived just over the hill. Our property was the only one abutting the lighthouse property and Harper's Light was too run down to be much of a tourist spot. Tourists loved taking pictures of lighthouses in Maine. But lucky us, we seemed to have this one mostly to ourselves.

Eric and I were married two years ago. He was 28 and I was 26 at the time. However we had actually met when I was 23 and just out of college. I had been down on the docks one morning asking the harbor master about any job openings. My degree was in marine biology, and he was an old family friend, so he might have had some connections.

Let's just say I made the biggest fool of myself that day but Eric still found me attractive. That's why I made sure I kept him around, I knew he was one of the good ones. Walking down the docks in the morning, tripping over your own feet, then falling into the ocean does not scream graceful. I could swim but Eric still did the whole hero thing and jumped in to save me.

I smiled as I remembered asking him why he did not just offer me a hand. He quickly grinned and said he was not going to pass up a swim with a hot blonde. The man never missed a beat, and he was charming as hell. He ended up offering me a towel and let me hang out by his small boat until I was dried off. We exchanged numbers and after that we were inseparable.

As I walked down the beach further I noticed the lighthouse turn on and the golden beam of light sliced through the fog. It was almost dark so I picked up my pace. I should get home rather than be out here alone. I was still smiling about the cheerful memories when I looked at the lighthouse and could have sworn I saw movement in one window. Odd, I did not hear a truck pull up. I picked up my pace and looked over at the dirt parking lot. No cars...

I had to admit I was a bit freaked out. People always said this lighthouse was haunted but I had yet to see anything. Eric tried to scare me all the time but he admitted to not seeing anything either, even though I knew he always wished we would. He was a big fan of that paranormal stuff.

I walked up the slight slope and was right in front of the lighthouse again. There it was again! In the bottom window there was a flash of movement. It looked bright instead of shadow like. I worked up my courage and decided I would just open the door. I needed to prove to myself I was being crazy. I was letting being alone in the fog get to me. They never locked the door, since the last lock broke six months ago it had not been replaced.

I reached out with a trembling hand and yanked the door open. What I saw before me was unbelievable.

"Eric?"

This was impossible, my husband had died two weeks ago in a car accident.


	2. Chapter 2

_a/n: Thanks so much for the feedback on this!_

CHAPTER TWO

This was not real. My mind was playing tricks on me. I definitely had not been sleeping well, this must be my mind yelling at me to rest.

"Sookie"

His voice was deep and my named rolled off his tongue in the same way it always had. It gave me shivers and made me feel warm at the same time. I looked at him after blinking about fifty times and rubbing my eyes. Eric was still standing there though.

I noticed he was wearing the outfit he had on the night he died. His white t-shirt with a big blue Ford emblem in the middle and in fine print below it said 'Built Ford Tough'. Eric always was a Ford man when it came to trucks or cars. He also had on his blue jeans and his old pair of sneakers. This was impossible! The biggest difference that told me this was not really Eric, was that he looked black and white and had a slight glow. He looked like a person from an old black and white movie, dropped into a colored background.

"Sookie?"

My imaginary Eric spoke again, this time a question in his eyes. It was as if he worried I did not recognize him. Then my mind took a sharp turn from crazy to wondering if he was real…. Just not alive. Eric always said he would haunt my ass if he went first. Of course at the time we both assumed we would be old and grey. What if he was making good on that promise? Was this Eric's spirit, sticking around even after death?

Just as I started to open my mouth to say something to him, Eric's image began to fade. It only took a second or two then he faded and flickered away. I brought my hands up to my face and rubbed my eyes once more, then looked all around the lighthouse. It was empty, I was alone.

"Sookie you are really losing it…" I muttered then quickly exited the lighthouse. I made my way back to my house insisting I was just too tired and seeing things. My mind was playing tricks on me. However even the imaginary Eric was enough to set off the water works. I had been crying like crazy lately and this recent experience set me off.

Once I got up to our house, technically my house now… I had to wipe away the tears in order to unlock the door. I got into the house and immediately busied myself with making dinner. As I went about cooking some pasta everything at the lighthouse seemed more and more ridiculous. I can't believe even for a second I thought it was really a ghost of Eric. I was upset, lonely, and tired. My husband died two weeks ago, so it probably was not that weird for my mind to make that up.

As I sat down at the table to eat my mind began wandering. It drifted to happier memories, when my life felt close to perfect.

_Flashback – five years ago…_

I sat down by the docks and started to wonder if I was a fool for showing up. Was he really going to blow me off? I met Eric last week when I fell into the ocean like a fool. He helped me out and we ended up exchanging numbers. He called three days ago to see if I was free tonight for a date. So here I am, waiting for him and he is five minutes late.

Another few minutes rolled by and I started to get up. I felt stupid for being stood up. But then Eric came down the metal ramp that led to the dock. He had a cooler in one hand and a small bouquet of flowers in the other.

"Sorry I'm late, I got stuck in line for the flowers…" Eric said with a small smile as he reached me on the dock and held them out to me. Now I felt like the jerk! "It's okay, I haven't been here that long. What's in the cooler?" I asked curiously as we started to head to his boat.

Eric did not have some huge fancy boat. It was just a twenty foot boat setup for fishing. But he kept it extremely clean so it was still perfect for a cruise on the water.

"That is a surprise. Now, are you ready for the best date of your life?" I just rolled my eyes and took his hand as he helped me onto the boat. Eric was confident and sarcastic… but oddly it was charming on him.

"I've had some pretty good dates Eric, so we'll see." My remark definitely did not bother him. "Okay, I guess we will see how I rank at the end of the night then." He still had that annoyingly adorable overbite grin on his face. I just sat down in the boat and tried not to stare too much as he went about getting everything setup to leave the dock. What can I say? Eric is a good looking guy. He has fairly short blonde hair, blue eyes, and from what I can tell some damn fine muscles beneath his t-shirt.

A half hour later we were cruising over the water and and just outside the harbor when Eric let the boat come to a stop. The sun was setting and from here I could see all the twinkling lights from the shops, restaurants and boats along the harbor. The late summer sky was stained pink and blue as the sun dipped below the horizon.

"So how was your day of job searching?" Eric asked as he sat down next to me and started opening the cooler. "The same as usual, redundant and useless." I was getting very frustrated about not finding a job. I worked of course, at the local chowder house as a waitress and sometimes bartender. But I wanted a job that could be a career and did not have me working shifts until midnight on a regular basis.

"It'll pan out soon enough. I remember searching for about a year after I finished school." Eric had only gone to school for two years instead of four, in order to become an electrician. So he had actually held a steady full-time job for awhile now.

"I know it's just frustrating when you know what you want, and can't seem to get it."

"It is, but you'll get there. Here you go, surprise." I looked down and Eric was holding out a big ice cream cone full of coffee ice cream. Apparently he remembered from the day we met, I had said it was my favorite flavor. I took my ice cream with a smile and peered down into the cooler. He had two cartons of ice cream in there, some soda, and a box of cones.

"Ice cream for dinner? I'll admit it is a pretty awesome idea." I licked my ice cream cone and decided this was definitely a good supper. Eric made his own chocolate ice cream cone.

"I am a genius" He shrugged and attacked his ice cream.

After we finished our ice cream we ended up sitting at the back of the boat, looking up at the stars. Eric had his arm around my shoulders, and I was enjoying the warmth radiating off his body.

"What's your favorite TV show?" Eric asked as we stared up at the sky, the boat gently rocking on the sea.

"Gilmore Girls you?" I could feel his sides moving as he chuckled. "That's such a chick show."

It was, I could not argue that. "Me? Hmmm…. I like that show Ghost Hunters. The one about those guys from Rhode Island and they go investigate haunted places. It's always on when I turn on my TV and then I end up sitting down and watching the entire episode."

Now it was my turn to laugh. Eric watched a show about a bunch of guys running around, thinking they were chasing some ghost each time they heard a tiny sound? It was kind of hilarious, since I was expecting him to pick out some show on Spike TV or something.

"Really? A ghost show?" I giggled and covered my face with my hands.

"Hey don't knock my show!" I kept laughing though and Eric ended up laughing with me. When I caught my breath again Eric reached over and slowly pulled my hands down from my face. His hands easily encompassed my mine. Did I mention he was a giant? I was about 5'5" and Eric towered over me at 6'4".

He kept my hands wrapped in his and slowly leaned closer, as if testing to see if I was going to back away. I didn't. I leaned forward and met him in the middle, our lips barely brushing each others. Just from the brief contact I felt a spark. I guessed Eric did too since he reached up and wove his fingers into my hair, and kissed me again with much more intensity.

_Present Day…_

I realized I had somehow finished my meal and stared at the empty seat across from me. Eric was supposed to be there. He was supposed to be with me and laughing about some stupid joke before he made go watch Ghost Hunters with him. Yes, his show was still on TV and we continued to watch it together until two weeks ago. I got up and cleaned up, washing the dishes and putting things away.

Eventually I changed into my comfy pajamas and sat down on the couch to watch television. I flipped through the channels and discovered that of course SyFy was playing a ghost hunters marathon. I thought I had no more tears left in me. But as soon as the team started investigating I felt my eyes well up. Even though I was crying I could not help but continue to watch. I missed him, and this was one of the things that we used to share together.

I was still so angry at the person who had crashed into his car. The person who stole my husband from me, my best friend. Now he was gone forever and I had never felt more alone. My parents stopped by on almost a daily basis to check in. They only lived a couple towns over from us. From me. I corrected myself. There was no more us.

I was pulled from my dark thoughts when I heard a knock at the door. I slowly got up, wondering who could be visiting at this hour. I went over to the front door and was greeted by Amelia. She was one of my best friends. "Hey Sook, come here." She didn't waste anytime asking how I was since I was crying.

She just wrapped me up in a big hug and let my cry on her shoulder for awhile. Amelia came and sat on the couch with me, immediately changing the channel once she noticed what I was watching. She knew Eric and I pretty well. Amelia had been my best friend since college and she came on plenty of double dates with us. I always brought Eric but Amelia could never seem to stick to one guy for long. So Eric and I enjoyed watching as a variety of suitors came and went in her life. Usually she was never too upset over dumping them, so it became a bit of an inside joke of how quickly she went through men.

"I'm sorry Ames, I just miss him. All I can think about is how he's gone, like forever gone, and not coming back." I grabbed a tissue from the box on my coffee table and tried to wipe some of the gross snot off of my nose.

"You know he's always here with you right?" She said, squeezing my hand. My eyes darted up to hers and for a second I wanted to ask if she had seen him to. The black and white Eric. "Eric loved you, I'm sure he's watching over you from some place better now."

I was glad I did not ask. I would have sounded crazy. Amelia was much more spiritual and religious than I was. So she just meant Eric was in heaven looking out for me. Even Eric used to be with all of his ghost beliefs. Personally I did not believe anything until I could see and feel it. If there was a God then I would believe in him when I met him someday. I just felt like science could explain everything eventually.

"Maybe, it's not the same though. We were supposed to have a life together. A full one, not one where dies at thirty." And I got left alone to try and muddle through what felt like hell now.

"Aww Sookie, I know it sounds insane but it will get better eventually. I know you'll never forget him, but dealing with it won't hurt so much someday." Amelia had lost her parents at a young age. So when she told me this I at least knew I could believe her. She was speaking from experience.

Amelia stayed for another hour and my tears finally stopped. I appreciated her being my friend through all of this. As I curled up in bed Eric was of course on my mind as I drifted off to sleep.

"Wake up" I could hear a voice telling me to wake up but I groaned and rolled over. I just wanted to sleep. "Wake up sugar muffin" The voice said with a chuckle and then I felt lips lightly kissing my neck.

My eyes flew open. Impossible. The only person who called me cheesy names like that was Eric. We used to do it on purpose. It was like a contest to see who could come up with the dumbest nickname for the other. We both always hated couples that called each other honey and sweetie pie all the time. It was so tacky.

I rolled onto my back again and looked to my right, and there he was, laying on his side of the bed. "Eric…" I could feel tears pricking at my eyes.

"Shhh, don't cry Sookie." He reached over and wiped the few tears away with his thumb. I pinched myself. Nothing happened, so I was awake? This was not a dream? Had Eric not died and that was all a nightmare?

To fully test my theory I practically jumped him and kissed him for all I was worth. I was met with his familiar, warm lips. I sighed against him, letting my body melt into his as he wrapped his strong arms around me.

"I missed this." I sighed. I was now on top of him, resting my forehead against his and staring into his blue eyes. I always thought they matched the ice blue of the frozen rivers in winter. Eric reached up and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers running over my cheek. I leaned into his touch.

"So come see me" He whispered up to me. I stared back mystified.

I woke up with a start, jumping slightly and quickly looking over to see if Eric was with me. The bed was empty just as it had been for the past two weeks. I couldn't believe it. It was all a dream. It felt so real though, he seemed so real. I layed back in bed and tried not to cry as I went over the dream in my mind.

One thing stood out and that was the last thing he said to me. 'Come see me'. The only thing I could think of was the lighthouse. I knew I sounded crazy, I thought I was crazy. I was listening to a dream Eric, a figment of my imagination. But I couldn't resist and it was the only thing that seemed to make sense by him saying to go see him.

Now a sane person probably would have gone to the cemetery. But I never even thought of that as I rushed off to the shower to get ready and dressed for the day. I was going to the lighthouse again. This time I would prove to myself if the ghostly Eric was my imagination or not.


	3. Chapter 3

_a/n: Thanks so much for the reviews you guys rock! I bumped this up to M just in case. I don't think it really, really needs it... but I also don't want my story getting ripped down over a rating mistake. Please keep sharing your thoughts I love hearing them! Also I just started a tumblr so please visit me there (so I know people actually look at it!) and I'll be posting graphics for the stories along with the chapter updates! The link is in my profile! Just search smanfan._

CHAPTER THREE

It was early Sunday morning and as I stepped out of the house I was met with a somewhat chilly breeze. It was spring time and in Maine that meant the air still had a bite to it until about noon time. Even then you only had a few hours of warmth before you needed a sweater or light jacket again. I pulled on my windbreaker in case it was misty down at the beach. I doubted it though, the skies were blue and bright.

I walked down the hill of our backyard and into the small trail in the woods. Pine and spruce trees towered around me. As I walked I thought about calling my boss to see if he would let me come back to work tomorrow. Sam would insist I stay home until I felt well enough to come back to the aquarium. Oh yes, I did find a job working at a local aquarium a few months after I started dating Eric.

It was a great job. I worked full time caring for the numerous marine animals, organizing their diets, and which animals were compatible in exhibits together. I absolutely loved my job. There was no doubt about it. Sam Merlotte was the general manager of the entire aquarium and I had become fairly good friends with him over the years. He knew I was a great worker and right now he was being extremely understanding about giving me the time I needed.

All of that thinking about work was a pleasant distraction. I realized I could already see the beach through the trees. Now that I was awake and walking outside on a sunny day, I felt a little silly. I imagined Eric in the lighthouse, then decided a dream was enough reason to come here. It all seemed pretty ridiculous. Oh well, at least it was a nice day to enjoy the beach.

I got down to the small grassy patch that held the keeper's old house and walked down the narrow trail that led right to the lighthouse. Maybe I should turn down the beach and forget this… But then I decided no harm could come from just opening the door right? Then once and for all I would know I just missed my husband, and was letting my imagination get to me.

I opened the door and it creaked with age as I swung it fully open. There was sunlight filtering through the few small windows in the lighthouse. It provided a dim light but I could still see everything inside perfectly fine. It was empty as usual. The old wooden floor had a small table with a chair pushed against one side of the space. There was a little ledger for guests to sign it if they wanted to. Then there was the black spiral staircase that led up to the light.

"See Sookie, no one here. You're just getting a bit crazy." I walked over to the ledger, just to be nosy and read the recent names. I saw my name and Eric's at the top of the page. We had signed it the last time we came down here. Below our name was only one, because like I said, barely anyone visited this old lighthouse. It read: Eric Northman.

"That's impossible…" I flipped through the few pages that actually had signatures. Whenever Eric came here I was with him. We always signed it together. I read each page to see if he had ever come here alone and signed it before. Maybe he just didn't tell me? I found nothing and flipped back to the most recent page. There was his name in fresh blue ink, in his penmanship.

"Sookie?"

I yelped and jumped five feet in the air before turning around. I had my back pressed to the circular wall of the lighthouse. There he was again, the black and white Eric of my imagination. I was breathing like I just ran a marathon.

"Sookie, can you hear me?"

Eric's face was laced with concern and instead of flickering away this time he stepped closer. I had to look up at him as I always had in the past, when he was alive.

"Say something, anything…" He seemed genuinely worried. I felt like I was insane as I opened my mouth to reply to my imaginary Eric. "Y-you're not real. I'm imagining you." I stuttered then shut my eyes tightly.

When I opened them again Eric was still there. Shit. How was this happening? "I need to call Amelia so she can check me into the hospital…" At that Eric chuckled. It was that deep, throaty laugh I missed so much.

"Sookie you're not crazy. It's me." Eric was close enough that I could touch him now. Oddly, it seemed like now there was actually a faded color to him. He looked less glowing and even more real than five seconds ago. I did not dare to reach out and touch him. I did not want him to disappear, even if I was imagining him.

"How do I know that? I could imagine you up." My brown eyes were glossy with tears.

Eric leaned down, he was only about an inch from my face now. "Because I said I would never leave you. I will always love you Sookie, I will always be here."

The tears were flowing freely down my face now. My bottom lip was trembling, as I tried to not fall to the floor and breakdown. Eric's eyes were staring back at me, with the same love and affection they always held for me. If this was not really him, then my imagination did a damn good job of making him. Just as I was about to reach out and hug him, he faded away again.

"I miss you…." I whispered, then crumpled to the floor in a crying mess. I just wanted him back and I was not sure if I could handle this. If I was really talking to Eric's ghost, it was like half having him here. I still would not get to really be with him. It felt like this might hurt more than him being completely gone. I was constantly being reminded of him, and it made me ache even more.

Eventually I got up and walked back out to the beach, since ghost Eric didn't appear again. My mind was starting to think of him as a ghost instead of my imagination now. I walked down the beach again and found a flat rock near the ocean to sit on. I leaned back and let the sun soak into my skin. I shut my eyes for awhile and just listened to the sounds of the surf hitting the shore.

_Flashback – five years ago… _

Eric and I had been dating for a few months now. He had just gotten a raise at work, and I landed a job at the aquarium. So both of us were in high spirits as we decided to go out to the bar with some friends. We headed to Camden which was much more of a tourist spot than our town in the summer. There was one street right near Camden Harbor that was lined with old shops, restaurants, and there was one pub. That was where we were headed. The place was called Cappy's. During the day it was a restaurant but later at night the scene shifted to more of a bar atmosphere. We arrived with Amelia, her most recent man Victor, my friend Tara, and Eric's sister Pam.

We definitely had too much to drink. Eric and I had shots and countless beers to celebrate. After I finished off a mixed drink I got up to go use the restroom. When I finished my business and opened the door Eric was standing in the narrow hallway that led to the restrooms.

"Can I help you?" I raised an eyebrow at him and started to walk back out to the bar. Eric grabbed my waist and pulled me back, pressing me against the wall. He was ten times my size so there was no escaping unless he let me.

"Mmmm, maybe" He leaned down and nipped at my ear. I took in a sharp breath and quickly decided this might be better than returning to the bar. Eric's hands had been on my wrists, pinning them at my sides. But now his hands moved up my bare arms, leaving goose bumps in their wake. His hands were cupping the sides of my face now and I met his intense gaze.

There was no more talking as his lips crashed down onto mine. My hands quickly found their way into the back pockets of his jeans, pulling his body flush against mine. Eric moved away from my lips and left a trail of kisses down my neck before settling on one spot that made me have to concentrate to keep quiet. I was probably going to have a hickey but right now I didn't care.

We were both drunk, having fun, and Eric just felt amazing. I really wanted to peel his shirt off right now so I could feel his warm skin beneath my fingers and those perfect muscles of his.

"Get a room!" Amelia yelled as she giggled and pushed her way past us to the ladies room. I couldn't help but laugh. Eric was a good sport and just started laughing too. We finally went back out to the bar. But we definitely were all over each other for the rest of the night. Once we got dropped off at Eric's apartment we waved to our friends then stumbled inside.

"Stay with me" Eric said as he pressed me against the door we had just closed. "I don't think I can drive home in this condition silly." I giggled as he started attacking my neck again. I quickly stopped though once his tongue swirled over my skin a few times. The mood abruptly shifted and I started pulling his shirt off. I ran my hands down the smooth planes of his chest. He was absolutely perfect. There was a slight tan line from the t-shirts he usually wore, and a tattoo of an anchor on one shoulder.

I pulled him back for another kiss, my tongue sliding along his bottom lip. He responded and we quickly returned to making out. Eric ended up picking me up and carrying me to his bedroom. I have no idea how long we stayed awake but it was definitely a long time. I ended up topless as well, with Eric on top of me. This was the most intense make out session I had ever been a part of. I could feel his weight on me and he started to slowly flex his hips, grinding himself against me. His lips started to wander over my skin again. Meanwhile my hands had moved down to his perfect butt.

"I'm not letting you go Stackhouse." Eric mumbled against me. I figured they were drunken words but didn't care. "You better not Northman." I smiled before his lips met mine again.

I woke up in the morning with Eric's head resting on my stomach. He was fast asleep. I lifted the covers slightly to make sure we both had our pants on. We did. I was pretty sure I remembered everything, but hey a girl has to double check! I couldn't help the ridiculous affection for him suddenly coming over me. We had both been pretty wasted last night. Eric could have easily pushed me for sex and I probably would have agreed. I wouldn't have even been mad at him this morning since it would be silly to blame him if I agreed. We had both been drunk, it was not like he would have been the sober one taking advantage of a drunk girl.

But even with both of us shitfaced he had not done that to me. That made me fall for him even more. I had no problem with sex before marriage or anything. But I just liked to know I was serious with a guy before going there. Eric and I were definitely at that point, but I was glad he had not tried to make our first time together happen when we were drunk. I wanted to be sober for that since I was damn sure it would be amazing.

"Hey sleepy" I grinned as Eric started to move some. He lifted his head just enough to rest his chin on my stomach. "Hi" He smiled back and I could feel the slight stubble on his face tickling my skin.

"I hope you know I meant what I said." I frowned slightly. What had he said last night?

"I'm definitely keeping you and never letting go." He filled in the blanks for me and I smiled, running my fingers through his hair. "And I'm still saying you better not." Then Eric crawled back up my body and we decided we could make out a little more before he had to go to work.

_End Flashback_

I had been sitting on the rock, absorbing the sun for about an hour now. It was getting warmer out and I decided to head back up to the house. I had to get some cleaning done anyway. I walked back up the beach, with the lighthouse looming in the distance. After debating the entire ten minute walk back up the beach, I decided I would check inside once more. It couldn't do any harm right? If Eric's ghost was here, maybe he would show up… maybe not. But my curiosity wouldn't let me just go home without looking.


	4. Chapter 4

_a/n: Thank you so much to everyone following and reviewing this story! I know it's a bit of a slow burn, and can be a tough read since a lot of it has a rather sad overtone to it. But thanks so much to those reading and giving this story a chance! It means so much to me! =)_

CHAPTER 4

I opened the door to the lighthouse again and stepped inside. I looked around and felt silly as I started to speak. "Eric? Eric….? If you're here can you, you know, pop in?" This felt stupid but I kept going. "Ugh, okay Sookie, just talk like he's a person. Just like on that dumb ghost show." I remembered the many episodes I had watched with Eric. I always thought it was a big joke but here I was now, trying to use the skills I learned from that damn show.

"It's not a dumb show." I spun around quickly and there was Eric sitting on the base of the spiral staircase.

"Geez, do you always have to just appear like that?" I asked, my heart pounding.

"Kind of. It's hard for me to be here with you." He said with a sad expression. I noticed he looked black and white again, not as real as he had before.

"Why?" I asked but couldn't move closer to him. Instead I sat down in the chair next to the ledger desk.

"Well I don't have a body anymore, I'm energy….a soul." Eric paused and seemed to really think about how to word his explanation. "It's like learning to talk all over again, but someone is telling you that you have to say all your words backwards in order for people to understand you. "

"Okay… so how come earlier you seemed to be, like, in color?" I wished I could touch him, just hold his hand.

"Practice makes perfect right? I'm pretty new at this, but the more I try the easier it gets. If I focus on my appearance I can make myself look more, alive… I guess. But if I focus too much on that, I have a harder time talking to you. I lose energy and eventually you can't hear or see me at all." Eric explained and I felt quite overwhelmed. It was a lot of information and a huge realization that ghosts were real. People's spirits could stick around after death. Most of all I was overwhelmed with a sense of happiness. It was a warm feeling I had not felt since the night he died. I was not alone. Eric was still with me in someway.

"I miss you Eric, I love you so much." I had to tell him that at least.

"I know, I love you too Sookie. I will always love you." Eric smiled a little and for a second he looked less ghost like. Then he just faded away.

I could feel the tears coming again as I got up to leave. "Bye Eric, maybe I'll see you tomorrow." I whispered as I left. If Eric was real, and he explained things right… then he wouldn't have the energy to talk to me anytime soon again. So I left the lighthouse and went home with a purpose for the first time in weeks.

Once inside I found one of Eric's old Ghost Hunters DVD seasons. I put it in, and paid attention as the episode started playing. I wanted to remember anything I could about what might be the best way to communicate with a ghost. I even wrote down a few questions I wanted to ask Eric if I saw him again. Number one would be if the Eric in my dreams, could possibly be him.

I stayed up well into the night watching that ghost show Eric used to love. I'm telling you the man had a problem. He knew everyone on the team's names and how many children they had. The one good thing about my research was even though I was thinking of Eric, I was not crying. My mind was occupied with trying to find more information on how to deal with this. If I could find a decent way of communication then maybe it would be easier for Eric. Maybe he would not get tired so quickly.

I went to bed that night and had a dreamless sleep. I had to admit I woke up a bit disappointed. Dream Eric was better than no Eric. I quickly got dressed and made my way down to the Owl & Turtle book store. It was a twenty minute drive and also the closest book shop.

When I walked into the book store I felt ridiculous again. Being in the real world with other people walking by me, it made all of this seem so farfetched. But I knew I had seen Eric. He even explained how he was a ghost to me! Well he did not say he was a ghost but he did explain that he was some kind of energy now. I browsed around the book store until I came to the paranormal section. Okay now it was time to do some more research and see if anyone else in the world had experienced something like this.

I knew I could use the internet but sometimes it seemed like you could get a more genuine story from actual books. At least with a book the author had attempted to double check their sources, the internet allowed anyone to post any junk they made up. I was hoping by going for the books I would avoid the fictional tales of a ten year old. I wanted to know if other people not only saw a ghost, but had a conversation with one. If they did, what the hell did they do about it?

I grabbed a few different titles and headed to the register. There was a woman who looked a little eccentric behind it. "Morning miss, is this it for today?" She started ringing up the four books I picked out.

"Yes, thank you." I grabbed my cash from my purse and handed over the correct amount.

"You're interested in ghosts?" She asked with a smile, her large earrings clinking together.

"Um..." I really did not want to explain myself to a stranger. "Seems like you have more than a passing interest in the paranormal." She started to look at me, like really stare me down. It was freaking me out so I quickly grabbed my bag and left.

That was weird. Was it just me or did the book shop lady know something? I could have sworn by the look in her eyes she did. My life was just getting stranger by the second. I swear.

When I got home I spent the entire afternoon reading. I was about halfway through the first book and sitting on the couch with a glass of lemonade. Oddly enough I found most of the ghost stories interesting. I never really cared for any of this stuff before, maybe I only liked it now because of Eric, or I just never gave it a fair chance. But no matter how interested I was, I ended up falling asleep on the couch.

Someone gently pulled the book off of my face, where it had fallen when I fell asleep. I snuggled deeper into the couch and felt hands pull a blanket over me. I opened my eyes slightly and Eric slowly came into focus.

"Hey sleepy" He smiled down at me and pushed a stray lock of hair from my eyes.

"Hi" I sat up a bit and grabbed his hand, slowly running my fingers over his palm. I glanced over at the table and noticed the book. "Did you put that on my face?"

"No, Sookie why would I put a book on your face, then take it off?" I frowned. It was a ghost book. Why would I read a ghost book, that was so my husband's thing. "Oh crap!" It finally clicked and I realized I was in a dream. Eric was gone in the real world except for his ghost.

I immediately moved closer to him and rid myself of the blanket. I nestled into his side and Eric put his arm around my shoulders to pull me closer. I felt him kiss the top of my head. I wanted to be close to him, even if this was just a dream. "Are you real Eric?"

"Of course I'm real." He chuckled. Of course his man brain thought that was a sufficient answer.

"Are you the same as the ghost Eric? Do you know you're dead?" I leaned back and searched his eyes.

His expression darkened and I felt one of his fingers tracing down the side of my face. "I know I'm dead, but I'm not gone. When you talk to me in the lighthouse or here in your dreams, it's still me." He explained softly. I could hear the sadness in his voice. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him closer.

"Eric I need you." I buried my face against his neck. He stilled smelled the same, that blend of Old Spice and the ocean air after he had been on his boat. His arms tightened around me, one hand on my back and the other tangled into my blonde hair. "I'm still here, just not in the way I want to be."

I leaned back slightly. "Why can I see you? Why are you here?" I had never known anyone who saw their long lost loved ones like this.

His blue eyes seemed sad, full of the longing I felt deep in my soul. "Because I can't move on without you. " His words broke me, shattered me into more pieces than before. I had no idea where he would move on to. Maybe it was some kind of afterlife, heaven? The ghost books mentioned something along those lines but no one really knew where spirits went off to.

"No, no, don't cry." He started wiping the tears from my cheeks. It felt like all I did was cry these days. "I want you to be happy Sookie. Live a long life, do everything we dreamed of."

I shook my head and crumpled against his chest, soaking his t-shirt. "I can't without you. It won't be the same."

He was gently rubbing my back and it felt so real. It felt exactly the same as when Eric comforted me when he was alive. "Yes you can. You do everything we talked about. Go whitewater rafting, see the Grand Canyon, try to catch a kangaroo in Australia... all of it. It doesn't matter how much time passes. I'll be here waiting for you."

Didn't he understand that I wanted him to be there? I was not sure if I could go do those things anymore. "I don't know if I can do that all on my own."

Eric tilted his head slightly and looked at me as if he just realized he knew something I did not. "You won't be on your own."

I was startled awake by a knock on my door. Damn it! I was just about to ask who the hell was going to be with me then. As far as I knew Eric could visit me in my dreams, but other than that he seemed restricted to the lighthouse. I got up and trudged to the door. I wanted to go back to sleep in hopes of being with Eric. I glanced at the clock and realized it was only four in the afternoon. My sleeping pattern was going to be thrown off, not that it had been normal lately.

_a/n: Thanks for reading! Reviews are the best ;) !_


	5. Chapter 5

_a/n: thanks so much for the reviews, ya'll will have to wait and see what Eric means by Sookie not being alone. =) In this chappie we have another flashback, so you guys can see more of what Eric and Sookie were like as a couple._

CHAPTER 5

"Hey Pam" I opened the door and was surprised to see her. I had not heard from her too much since Eric's funeral. I think this was almost as hard on her as it was me. She was pretty close to her older brother. I had always liked Pam and gotten along with her, despite her dry sense of humor. "come on in"

"How are you Sookie?" I shrugged and headed to the fridge. "Not good, but I guess it's normal." I opened the fridge to offer her a drink, but realized I had bought nothing in the last few days. "Um, you want some water?"

"No, I'm fine..." Pam trailed off and sat down at the kitchen table. It was so strange to see her withdrawn and quiet. Usually she was bold, and did not give a shit about anyone or anything. But right now it was obvious the loss of her brother was dragging her down.

"I miss him Sookie." She leaned against her hand, staring at the table. "Me too, I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I keep thinking he's going to come home."

"The other day I came home from work and thought it would be fun to go out. I picked up the phone and dialed Eric's cell, then realized I couldn't invite him..." Pam's eyes were watering. I had never seen her cry before. I didn't know what to do so I just got up and hugged her. We could miss him together.

Part of me wanted to tell her my secret. I could bring her to the lighthouse and see if she saw him too. But then I did not want anyone thinking I was some widow gone crazy. Pam was always very logical and based in reality. She would be the last person to believe me. So for now I kept my mouth shut until I knew more about my own situation.

While Pam was visiting Amelia stopped by as well. We ended up sitting at my kitchen table chatting about old times. Sometimes we cried, others we laughed. It was nice to laugh again. Amelia had even brought over Chinese food and sodas, so we were pigging out. Pam was retelling the epic tale of Eric trying to fly when he was thirteen. I always laughed at this story. Out of the two of us, Eric was definitely the dreamer. He was the one who thought the sky was the limit and anything was possible.

"He strapped these ridiculous cardboard wings to his arms, put skis on his feet... he really thought it would work. I was sitting at the top of our roof, holding the end of a rope tied around his waist. He waved for me to let go... damn I just remember letting go and thinking how badly he was going to be hurting. Then once he went flying smack dab into the dirt, I asked if he learned his lesson. He told me he did fly, for two seconds before he hit the ground." Pam laughed "Damn boy was always stubborn, he just didn't want to admit his little sister knew better than him."

Amelia put down her forkful of fried rice and piped in. "What about that time when you guys came out with me and Tray? That was pretty awesome."

I remembered that night well. I could feel the blush creeping up my cheeks. "Oh god... of course you bring that up!"

"Hey, if I remember you had fun due to our shenanigans." Amelia said pointedly. I caved and started giggling with her. "Ok that's true."

_Flashback – 4 years ago_

Once again we all had a little too much to drink. Well actually Tray and Amelia had too much. Eric and I were just pleasantly buzzed. I had been with Eric for just about a year now. We had our stupid arguments but I had never been happier with a guy. Amelia had been dating Tray going on three months now. I think that was a record for her. They seemed to get along well and we all liked Tray. He was easy going and fun to be around.

"I'll race you!" Amelia screamed and giggled then started running down the path into the woods. We had parked our cars in the small lot at Harper's Lighthouse. We all were not ready to go home just yet, so it was three in the morning and here we were. Tray jogged after her "Wait up Ames!"

"They are so face planting." Eric chuckled as he grabbed my hand and we walked down the trail behind them. I could hear them giggling and yelling up ahead. "They won't feel it at this point." I laughed quietly and we continued down until the lighthouse came into view.

Once we hit the beach Amelia was spinning around and waving her hands in the air. She really looked like a lunatic and it had me cracking up. "Okay guys!" She stopped and clapped her hands together. "Game time!"

I looked up at Eric with an 'uh-oh' face. Amelia's drunk games had a tendency to go too far. Tray was all for it though and drunkenly plopped down in the sand. "What are we playin'?" Amelia sat down right in his lap, a giggling mess. "Truth or dare!"

"What are we 14?" I sighed and rolled my eyes at her. Then of course Eric had to join in "I'm game" He grinned and pulled me against his side. The man was such a goofball. I would smack him in the morning for this. No good ever came from truth or dare.

"Ok you guys ask us first." Amelia was running the show still.

"Okay... truth or dare?" I asked.

"Dare!" Of course, I looked to Eric hoping he had a good idea. He seemed to not have a good idea either. "someone didn't think this through..." I mumbled.

"Okay Amelia has to go in the lighthouse alone, and ask for old man Harper three times." Eric finally said with a big grin on his face. I think he was the only one who believed in that ghost story.

"Ok!" Yep, Amelia was all perky and jumped off of Tray. She ran down the beach to the lighthouse and went right in. We heard her yell in an all too peppy voice three times. Then she came running back.

"That was fun, okay now your turn. Truth or dare?" Amelia put her pretend serious face on.

Before I could get a word in Eric answered. "Dare" Oh no... I wanted truth, those were usually easier when dealing with Amelia. Eric seemed to be enjoying this though, I think he just liked pissing me off sometimes.

"I dare you two, to go skinny dipping in the ocean." Amelia said in a serious tone then broke out in a fit of giggles and collapsed in the sand. Tray was wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Yeah right-" I started to say but then turned my head slightly to see Eric pulling his shirt off. Was he crazy?! It was June! The water would still be freezing cold this time of year. I think I was more buzzed than I thought, because I was quickly distracted by Eric's chest. I was just staring at him like a dope.

"Sook! This is your dare too!" Amelia chimed in.

I gave her my best evil eyes and started trudging to the ocean. "You still have on your clothes!" Tray hollered after me. Then I heard Eric yell back at him. "I'll make sure she gets them off!"

I had removed my sandals, and was standing with just my feet in the water. Eric came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Eric this is freezing!"

"I'll warm you up." He started nibbling at my ear. That was so unfair. "Eriiic, remember we're not alone…"

"I know that's why I'm standing here, perfectly blocking you from their view. " I just started giggling. What else could I do? Plus the way he was kissing my neck was making me want to lose my clothes anyway. But for entirely different reasons than making good on our game.

"Really? Such a gentleman " I laughed and turned to face him. It was dark so I doubted they could even see Eric in this light, besides the dark shadow of his form in the distance. I quickly noticed all of his clothes were gone already. Did I tell you that Eric has the most amazing body? He's tall with broad shoulders and just the right amount of muscle to him. I hate guys that look all bulky like they are on steroids. Even Tray worked out too much for my taste.

"Not really, I just don't want to share what's mine." He growled in my ear and started pulling my shirt up. I loved caveman Eric, being possessive was damn sexy as long as it didn't get taken too far.

I quickly peeled off the rest of my clothes with Eric's help. Well he was not really helping, just feeling me up whenever new flesh was exposed.

"You better keep me warm like you promised." I could feel my teeth starting to chatter already. "I will" He smiled then scooped me up bridal style and started running into the ocean.

I got sucked in and started laughing with him. Eventually we were waist deep in the water and Eric had let me go. We were busy laughing and splashing each other with water for a few minutes. But then I remembered Tray and Amelia.

"Hey, do you see them anymore?" My eyes searched the beach. It was hard to see anything since it was also a cloudy night. There was very little moonlight to see by.

"There they are!" Eric pointed to the edge of the trees in the distance. I saw Tray and Amelia running off down the trail into the woods.

"Hey! Guys what the hell?!" I screamed after my stupid best friend. She was such a jerk! "They're just ditching us?" I turned back to Eric but he did not seem in the mood for talking. Instead he grabbed my face and kissed me.

"I don't mind…" He said against my lips a few seconds later. Okay so maybe them ditching us was actually pretty freaking great. I quickly forgot about my friend and got lost in Eric.

He was definitely making me forget about the cold ocean water we were currently standing in. His hands moved down to my hips and he effortlessly picked me up. I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist, locking my arms around his neck. I could taste the salty air on his bottom lip as I ran my tongue over it.

Eric didn't waste anytime and his tongue was sliding over mine. I could feel just how excited he was about this. Eric wasn't a small guy so there was no mistaking when he was ready to go. I had to admit I had never had sex in the ocean. But it's good to try new things right?

Awhile later Eric and I were stumbling out of the ocean, satisfied but still pawing at each other. Except this time there was no real intent behind our actions besides affection and wanting to be close.

"Eric, you know you're making walking ten times slower right?"

"Mmmm" He mumbled and started sucking on my earlobe. He had his arms around my torso and was insistent about keeping his body plastered to mine. It made walking to our clothes a challenge. So I gave in and turned in his arms, then pulled him down for another kiss. I sucked on his bottom lip and dug my fingers into his hair.

"Okay, lets get our clothes before you throw me down in the sand again." I laughed and pulled away from him. Eric gave me his best pout but I wasn't falling for it. He could at least wait until we got back to his place.

"Fine, the faster we find our clothes the faster I can rip them off of you again." Eric said with determination and started walking up the beach for our stuff. I stayed a few steps behind him. He had a cute butt, might as well take advantage of the view. Although I did notice once he was ahead of me that he had some decent scratches on his back. Woops….

"Hey, do you feel anything?" I asked as I caught up with him.

"Besides being horny you mean?" He grinned.

"Yes you big oaf. There are scratches on your back, you can't feel it?" I knew they weren't deep but his skin was still red where they were.

"No, but I don't mind. I like how I got them. I can show them off with pride!" He gloated and I hit him in the chest. Then I took off and Eric chased after me down the beach. Once I got to the spot where Amelia had been before Eric caged me in his arms the second he caught up. It had been a short distance, it's the only reason he did not catch up with me.

"Um where are our clothes?" I looked around but did not see anything. Eric walked around some as well now.

"I don't see anything Sookie. I left my clothes near the water with yours. I figured Amelia might have moved them up here so they didn't get wet… but they weren't by the water when we came out." He wandered down the beach some more but there was nothing. "I think your pal stole our clothes."

Okay now I was really mad at her. It was one thing to get me to go run into the cold ocean naked. But you don't steal your friend's clothes and run off! I would yell at her tomorrow.

"Shit, I am so going to scream at her." I muttered. Eric did not seem too pleased either.

"Ok well it's the middle of the night and we're out in the middle of nowhere. We can just take the trail back, it's not like anyone will see us. I think I have some clothes for the gym in my car." Eric explained and I forced myself to suck it up and be reasonable. He was right, we would be fine, just cold.

"Alright lets go." We started walking back up the beach but the rocks were killing my feet. I ended up way behind Eric, wincing with each step. I don't know how his feet were not killing him.

"Here" Eric stepped in front of me and kneeled down. This was weird. "What are you doing…?" Why was my naked boyfriend kneeling down in front of me, with his back to me?

"Piggy back ride, so you're feet aren't cut up when we get back." Okay major brownie points. He just made it to the best boyfriend ever list! I hopped onto Eric's back and he started walking up the trail into the dark woods. I was giggling like a maniac.

"What's so funny up there?" We were moving much faster now that Eric was setting the pace. I realized he had a smooth stride, like riding in a Buick instead of a tiny Beetle that bumped you around on the road.

"Um everything? We just went skinny dipping in the ocean on a dare like we were 14. We lost our clothes. Now we're both naked and you are giving me a piggy back ride through the woods." I thought it was hilarious. If someone saw us right now I have no clue what they might think.

Eric started laughing too. "This is why I love you Stackhouse."

"Because I like naked piggy back rides?" I asked.

"No, because like me you have a weird sense of humor. And you find the good in a very weird situation." He stepped out of the woods finally and into the gravel lot. I could see his car parked where we left it.

"I love you too Northman." I whispered into his ear before sliding off his back. We ran to his car and thank god Amelia left the keys on the hood of the car. We hopped into our seat and Eric turned the heat on right away. He ended up having some gym clothes in there too. Eric drove us back to his apartment in his track pants and I got his t-shirt which was like a dress on me anyways.

_Present Day…_

"Ames you're so lucky we did not have to drive home naked. Otherwise I really would have yelled at you." I took another bite of my fried rice.

"Who the hell plays truth or dare in their twenties?" Pam asked with a disgusted face. She did not always understand our sense of humor, or Eric's for that matter. But she loved us all and just dealt with it.

After another hour or so of chatting Pam and Amelia decided to head home. I cleaned up the kitchen and decided it was nice to have some company. I really did need to make an effort to be around people more. If Eric was not with me, sharing the memories of him with other people who loved him made it a bit easier.

_a/n: Thanks for reading and please review! Next chapter we see Sophie-Anne again and dream Eric!_


	6. Chapter 6

_a/n: thanks to my reviewers! Also just a heads up there is a lemon in this chapter. For the most part this story has been borderline T rating, so in case anyone wants to avoid it, stop here. But I will say it's pretty mild for a lemon in the FF world, so nothing too crazy. Okay on with the show. =)_

CHAPTER 6

That evening I sat down and flipped through the television channels. I ended up watching HGTV. I never liked the channel because it felt like work to watch it. It simply reminded me of the many renovations I could do to my own house. But for now it was something mindless I could watch and it did not make me think too much. I was still in a good mood thinking about the happy memories of Eric. I tried to hold onto that. It was better to remember him in that way instead of crying all the time.

The following morning I went off to the bookstore again. I drove into town and ran into Sam as I stopped for gas.

"Hey Sook! How are you?" Sam came over right away, concern etched onto his face. He was a good boss and I knew he really cared when he asked that.

"I'm okay, managing I guess. How's work?" I did miss going to the aquarium everyday.

"It's good everyone misses you though. Arlene keeps complaining about having to get her hands dirty since you're not there." He rolled his eyes. Arlene could be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

"So do you still want to come back to work soon? I know I said no before, but if it's what you want, then maybe it'll help take your mind off everything." Sam had really tried to push me into staying home and I had been fighting it. But now that I had this whole ghost thing going on... I really wanted the time off. I wanted to figure this out and selfishly I wanted to be able to visit Eric as much as possible.

"Actually I think you were right. Time off will be good for me, maybe I can start next week?" In one week I should have this figured out. If I didn't then maybe I needed to suck it up and get back to reality.

"Okay Sook, I'll give you a call sometime this week. You call me if you need anything." Sam gave me a quick hug before heading off in his pickup truck. I watched as the vehicle faded into the distance. I really had some good people in my life. Sam, Amelia, and Pam were all there for me. So were my parents and Eric's who actually lived only a half hour away from us. Well... just me now.

I got back to business and headed into the book shop. When I walked in the same red headed woman was there. "Back so soon?" She smiled at me.

She kind of gave me the creeps, I felt like she knew something about me. "Yes, just finished reading my other books." I started heading off to the paranormal section.

"I'm not surprised." Okay that was it! I turned on my heel to face the woman still behind the counter. No one else was in the shop that I could see.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I didn't like how mysterious she was.

"That I know you're here looking for answers." She still had a smile on her face as she walked from behind the counter and came over to me. "I'm Sophie-Anne, I own the shop. It's nice to meet you."

She offered me her hand. I was freaked out but I also had manners burned into my brain at a young age. So I took her hand cautiously. "Sookie, and what exactly do you know about me?"

She took in a sharp breath the second our hands met. "Are you here to find out more about your guardian angel? I can sense he's with you."

I pulled my hand back immediately. Sophie-Anne had done nothing wrong I guess I was just startled. "What? No..." I also did not completely believe her just yet. Eric could only appear to me at the lighthouse. There was no way he was here right now. Wouldn't I know it?

"I've never felt a presence so strong before. That's amazing. Have you seen the angel yourself?" She seemed curious and absolutely fascinated now.

"Um..." I was just uncomfortable. I did not know or trust this woman.

"I'm sorry, I come on a little strong sometimes. I'm a medium and a bit of a psychic, so that's why I find this so interesting. I can sense spirits and sometimes communicate with them. Let me prove it to you." Sophie gestured to a nearby table and chairs. They were meant for customers browsing through books but it was still early and no one else was around.

I was reluctant but I also wanted information. If she could help me figure out more about Eric it might be worth trusting her. I sat down across from her and this time she did not even touch my hand. She shut her eyes for a few seconds then opened them. I was expecting some weird humming or candles but none of that happened. It was actually pretty normal, if you could call it that.

"Your name is Sookie Stackhouse, you lost your grandparents when you were very young. Your father is Corbett and your mother is Michelle." She explained then paused for a second. Then she reached over and squeezed my hand before retreating again. "Sorry for your loss dear, you just lost someone very close to you?"

I nodded slowly. How had the world gone from simple reality to insane in the last few days? How could all of these things be real? I had been so sure ghosts were just fiction and spooky stories for kids. I guess I should have believed my husband.

"What if I told you I know who my guardian angel is?" Sophie-Anne's eyes lit up. I guess she did not get too many customers who were chatting with ghosts on the regular.

"Can you sense spirits as well?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Not until a few days ago, and I only talk to one ghost...so I don't know if that counts." I shrugged and stared at my shoes.

"You talk to it? Who is it?" She was hanging on my every word.

"My husband Eric, he died a little over two weeks ago." I whispered and fought hard to not let my eyes well up.

"Oh my god... that's amazing. He must be the male presence I sensed with you the first time you came into the store. He's looking out for you Sookie." She smiled softly.

"But you said guardian angel, Eric is just a ghost he's not an angel." That part confused me. I thought angels were supposed to work for God.

"I did. Some people believe angels are warriors of God and have never been human. In some cases that is true. But when it comes to guardian angels most of the time it's a spirit that was once human. It can be someone you never knew, just a soul that feels a connection to you for some reason and looks out for you. A man came to me one time and some woman from the 1940s was his guardian angel. He never knew her or her family. But he moved into her home and loved it the same as she did, because of that the spirit feels a connection to him. In your case it's someone who loved you in life and is still looking after you in the only way he can." Sophie explained then had to get up to check out a customer. She looked a bit peeved to be interrupted, but she also needed to make money.

I sat there trying to absorb everything she just told me. So Eric was not only a ghost but my guardian angel. I guess he sort of explained that to me. But it was nice to finally share this with another person and have them believe me right away. There was no question in Sophie-Anne's eyes. I could tell she believed everything I said. When she returned the store was getting busier but apparently she had one last thing to say.

"I've never sensed a spirit so strongly before, he must really love you." She squeezed my shoulder then turned to head to the register. She stopped short though and turned to me. "Oh and Eric says you won't be alone for long. Whatever that means..." She shrugged then rushed back to the forming line of customers.

What the hell?! Why did everything have to be so cryptic. Why did Eric have to give her one little weird blurb like that?! How was I not alone? Did he think I was going to start dating again? That sure as hell was not happening. Sophie-Anne was obviously busy so I was forced to leave without more answers for now. She waved as I left and I politely waved back. Maybe I could stop by again and see what else she knew, or just for the sake of sharing my stories about Eric with her. I just couldn't tell Pam or Amelia yet. They might not believe me or it would just make the healing process harder on them, knowing he was still around but they couldn't see or talk to him like I did.

I still had almost a full day ahead of me. I decided to let HGTV inspire me and went to the hardware store to buy some paint. Eric and I had talked about painting the bathroom light blue a million times and never got around to it. So I got the paint then headed home. Once I was set up with plastic laid out, painter's tape, and had my old clothes on I got to work. As I pushed the roller up and down the drab gray walls my mind wandered to another time I was painting.

_Flashback two years ago..._

"This is taking forever. Remind me why we wanted to do this?" I sighed as I put more yellow paint onto my paintbrush.

"Because you insisted that the kitchen needed to be yellow and cheerful?" Eric reminded me in a tired and slightly sarcastic voice. We had both been at work all day and for some crazy reason decided to paint our kitchen on a Friday night. We were tired and painting trim was no fun.

"I didn't say it like that. I just want things to look nice. This is our house, not just some apartment anymore." Eric and I had been married for about three months now, but we had only been in our house for one. We had already been living together at his apartment for awhile but we always planned on buying our own home so we never went crazy with decorating.

"I pretty sure you said you wanted the kitchen to shine like the sun on a spring morning." He grumbled and reached beneath the cabinets to paint more.

"You are such a grouch when you're tired." I mumbled and poured more paint into the roller tray.

"You know what?" I turned to face him, waiting for his snarky reply. All I got was him running his fingers over the paintbrush, sufficiently splattering my face with yellow paint.

What a jerk! I picked up my paintbrush fresh from the can, dripping with paint, and flicked it at him. A big blob of yellow paint landed right above his eye and started to drip down. At first he looked pissed off but then I started giggling. "You look ridiculous" The paint was dripping down over his eye before he smeared it away, spreading it over the side of his face.

Eric couldn't stay mad for long and he started smiling. I ducked beneath the table when he tried to toss more paint at me. "Ha! See I might be small but I'm agile."

"And I'm stronger." I shrieked as he grabbed my ankle and pulled me out from under the table. I was laying on my back on the linoleum floor. Eric was hovering over me with an evil smile on his face. The brush was still in his hand and he just held it over my face, letting it drip onto me. Jerk! He thought he won already. I stretched my arm out to the side and carefully dipped my hand into the paint bucket while he was busy gloating.

Then with a hand dripping in paint I reached up and smeared it into his hair and down one side of his face. "Ha! Take that!"

"Woah! Take it easy! I barely got you and now I'm dripping in paint!" He laughed and quickly dropped his paint brush so he could pin my arms to the floor. Now I had no chance, Eric really was stronger than me. But usually I liked that fact.

"Truce?" I offered and he seemed to debate for a second or two. Then he leaned down and kissed me.

"Truce." He grinned before pressing his lips to mine again. Thankfully they were not covered in paint. We did not finish painting the kitchen that night. Instead we spent it on the kitchen floor, half covered in the yellow paint that was supposed to be on the walls.

Present Day...

I poured more blue paint into the roller tray. This was going much slower without Eric around, or faster depending on how you looked at it. He was not around to distract me or pin me to the floor and rip my clothes off. I think I'd much rather have the painting take three days, and be having fun on the floor covered in paint. I sighed and tried to focus on my work. I needed to accept that Eric would never be here completely anymore. It was seeming like I would always have a piece of him though and I was starting to realize I was grateful for that.

When this first started I thought it would make everything more difficult. Thinking about Eric and having a bit of him seemed worse than just losing him once and for all. But now I was thinking about what Sophie-Anne said to me. How Eric must really love me if he was around... If she was into this ghost stuff, how many had she seen or interacted with? She looked a few years older than me, maybe 32 or so. I thought that gave her plenty of time to be a medium/psychic person. If she said Eric was the strongest presence she had ever sensed it had to mean something.

Eric was looking out for me and being there for me in the only way he knew how. He was also opening up my world, again. I thought he opened me up to all sorts of new experiences and hobbies when we started dating. Now he was gone and still teaching me something new everyday. I was learning there definitely was something more after this life and I would have someone waiting for me on the other side.

Hours later I was exhausted and finished my painting. The room was now a nice shade of pale blue and looked much brighter. I turned the lights off and headed upstairs for the night. I found my favorite pair of comfy pajamas in my dresser. They were yellow flannel with sea turtles all over them. They were a bit childish looking but I loved them. I smiled slightly when I climbed into bed, remembering how Eric used to call these pajamas my knight armor. You get it? I wear them at night and usually it meant he wasn't getting them off of me. Knight Armor. Haha! Yes he was a total cornball like that.

"You have the armor on I see."

I looked over and saw Eric laying next to me. I looked around the room then at myself. I had on my yellow pajamas just like when I fell asleep. But now Eric was here, so that meant it was a dream. It was starting to get easier to figure that out. I reminded myself to remember this well so I could talk to Sophie-Anne about it. Maybe she knew about dreams too. But I also did not want to waste my time with Eric thinking about her so I moved on from that quickly.

"Yes, doesn't really matter anymore." I said with a frown.

"You know I would never hold it against you if you moved on some day. I want you to be happy." Eric had rolled onto his side. I noticed he was shirtless and reached out to trace the black anchor tattooed onto his shoulder.

"I can't see myself ever doing that. But thank you." I whispered and ignored the slight sting of tears. For once I fought them off successfully.

"What did you mean when you said I won't be alone? You said it to Sophie-Anne too." I was still curious about that.

"You'll know soon enough." He reached over and pulled me closer. I was still amazed at how real these dreams felt. I could feel the warmth radiating off his skin and the slightly rougher skin of his hands from working outside for years. "Sophie-Anne is a little eccentric but she's a good person Sookie. You can trust her."

I could tell by Eric's expression he was not going to budge on the 'not alone' subject. He might be a ghost but I still knew my husband's expressions.

"I want to. I don't feel like I can tell Pam and Amelia about you. They won't understand." I was close enough that the tips of our noses were almost touching.

"Honestly I don't even know if they would be able to see me. All of this... after life stuff works pretty strange. I wasn't even sure you would see me, or know I was still with you." Eric explained and I could see that it had really bothered him that I wouldn't know he was around at all. "From the second the accident happened I tried to talk to you, touch you... but you had no idea I was there. When you finally saw me in the lighthouse I was so happy Sookie. Even to just have five more minutes with you seemed like enough."

My eyes were watering again. This time I blamed it on being a girl. When a man said something like that to you, what woman would not be tearing up?

"Does that mean you can leave the lighthouse? Just for some reason I can only actually see you there when I'm awake?" I had wondered how Sophie-Anne had sensed his presence before.

"Yes. I don't know why you're able to see me there. But I'm glad you can." Eric smiled softly, wrapping his hand around mine. "The night I died, those last few seconds... all I could think about was how I'd do anything for one more night with you."

"Well now you have it." I whispered. My hand moved up to the side of his face slowly moving over his jaw line. Eric closed his eyes with content. I did not know when I would wake up. It could be two seconds or seem like hours, but I refused to waste time worrying about it.

When Eric opened his ice blue eyes again he wrapped me in his arms and I melted into his embrace. He rolled so he was on top of me, resting his weight on his elbows. His forehead was resting against mine, his gaze telling me everything he couldn't put into words, or just did not have the time to while he was alive. I ran my fingers through his short blonde hair, trying to memorize the feeling. I thought I understood how much he loved me when we got married. Now I realized Eric and I were much more than that. 'Till death do us part' did not apply here.

Finally he pressed his lips to mine. It felt real and I had long forgotten this was a dream. It was a chance to be with my husband once more and feel some kind of connection. The kiss was slow and burning. You would think we were in a rush since I could wake up at anytime…. But this wasn't about something physical. It was about loving someone so much you just needed to feel them close, even if it was just for a second.

His tongue slid over my bottom lip and I parted my lips beneath his. My hands were lost in his hair and his in mine. We were clinging to each other desperately, trying to convey just how much we still needed the other. Eric moved down to my neck and the way his tongue swirled over my skin made a quiet sound escape my lips.

My own hands moved from his now disheveled hair to his bare shoulders. I could feel the muscles moving beneath his slightly tanned skin. Eric shifted between light sweet kisses on my neck, to intense french kissing that made me feel like I was on fire. Before I knew it he had all the buttons undone on my flannel armor. I had not even noticed him doing that. Was it because this was a dream or he distracted me? I didn't care.

I knew this was real right now. This was not just my mind, this was really Eric that I was sharing this dream with. I leaned forward just enough to pull my arms out of the sleeves and toss my shirt aside. When I laid back again Eric paused. His eyes were slowly traveling over my body. It was an expression I remembered well. His blue eyes seemed a shade or two darker with lust but behind that there was love, affection. However this time I also noticed the longing in his eyes.

I reached up and held the side of his face. "Hey, come back to me."

He leaned down and lightly pressed his lips to mine. "I'm sorry" He whispered close enough that his nose was still touching mine. He shut his eyes and for the first time it seemed like Eric was the one battling tears. "I miss this. I miss being with you, holding you."

"I know." There was not much more I could say. I agreed with him. There was this ache in me that only went away when I was sharing a dream with him, or seeing him at the lighthouse. I wrapped my arms around his neck, closing the distance between us and pulling him into another kiss. Eric's hands wandered over my newly exposed skin, settling on my breasts.

Meanwhile I did not want to lose an inch of contact with him so I used my feet to pull down the gym shorts he had on. He always used to wear those to bed so I knew how easily they slid right off that trim and fit body of his. He shifted around some, I'm assuming to kick the shorts completely off. Then he made quick work of ridding me of the last bit of flannel armor. My turtle pajama pants landed on the floor somewhere beside the bed.

Now I could feel every inch of his skin against mine. I wanted to hold onto him and never let go. As he started to slowly push into me his eyes locked with mine. I took in a sharp breath at the wonderful sensation of him filling me. I had never felt more connected to him than I did in this moment. It was more than just a physical connection, but an emotional one. It probably sounds crazy, but then again my life is crazy now… but it felt like my soul was connected to his. I could feel the loss he felt at losing his life so soon, the longing he felt over me along with the love, and the happiness he felt about still being able to communicate with me.

Once he settled himself over me I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. "I love you Eric."

His hips started to move and his mouth met mine in a searing kiss. The pace remained slow as it had been. It was like we were both dragging this out as long as possible, not wanting to part from each other. Who knew when we might get this chance again. Usually I woke up or was woken up by a sound off in the real world. But for once luck was on our side and I spent a full night sharing my dreams with the man I loved.

It felt like hours had passed but I really had no idea. Eric was now curled up on our bed, sufficiently spooning me with his enormous body. I always said he could be my human blanket. I didn't need a comforter with him. I could feel his breath on my neck and his heart beating against my bare shoulder. His arm was wrapped around my waist and his fingers lazily drawing circles on my stomach.

"You're probably going to wake up soon." He said with a sadness in his voice. Tonight was the first time Eric let me see how much this hurt him too. So far when I had spoken to his ghost or seen him in my dream, he was always trying to be supportive. I guess he was trying to help me get through this. But to be honest it was nice to know this was hard on him too. His sadness made him real, and it made it easier to accept this was 100% my husband and not me going insane.

"I know." I turned in his arms so I could see his face.

"But this isn't good-bye. I'll see you again. I can go to the lighthouse tomorrow." I ran my fingers lightly over his chest. I couldn't stop touching him, needing to feel he was right there with me. Eric seemed to be doing the same since his fingers were constantly drifting up and down my side.

"I'll see you there." He smiled and then it felt like everything was fading away. I reached out for Eric but he was blurry now. I felt one last gentle squeeze of his fingers around mine.

Then I was opening my eyes to spring sunlight filtering through my bedroom window. I rolled over to check the empty side of our bed. I did this every morning. I could feel my flannel armor was still on just as it had been last night when I went to bed. It was all a dream.

"But it was still real." I confirmed with determination. I finally believed, without a doubt in my mind, that it was all real. I got out of bed with two destinations in mind. The lighthouse and the bookstore.

_a/n: thanks for reading, please pretty please write a review and share some of your thoughts with me? Yes, I will beg for reviews. I have no pride. =D_


	7. Chapter 7

_a/n: Another TON of thanks to those reviewing and faving this story! I know I usually come onto FF to read a somewhat fluffy story that has a happy ending, simply because usually I've worked all day and just want to relax and smile. So I REALLY appreciate the readers on this story. I knew it would be full of angst when the idea popped into my head, but the muse wouldn't leave me alone until I finally started writing this one. So thanks a million for continuing to read even though it isn't a fluffy happy story. I love ya'll! Also this chapter is pretty long, they just didn't want to shut up in their flashback lol. _

CHAPTER 7

When I hopped into my car I debated on running out to the lighthouse instead. No. I forced myself to go to the bookstore first. The dream of Eric was fresh in my mind and I wanted more answers. I would not be sharing all of the details with Sophie-Anne but I did want to see what kind of knowledge she had on dreaming.

I drove down the desolate Maine roads. The conifer trees towered on each side of the road and the houses were all far apart out here. You could always spot wildlife where I lived. It was not unusual to see deer, coyotes, or even a moose crossing the road. It was always a part of Maine that I liked. Nature was relaxing and I never minded sharing the space with wild creatures. Eventually I turned onto the main downtown road, then I took a sharp right that led down a steep decline. I always had to ride the brakes down this hill. The I took the turn into the Owl & Turtle parking lot. The book shop was on the backside of the main strip of old fashioned stores in town. That meant from here I could see the harbor, only about a thirty second walk across the decent sized parking lot.

I could see Eric's boat floating in the harbor from here. He had just put it in the water for the season a couple days before the accident. I pushed the thought away and walked into the book shop. Sophie-Anne greeted me right away. "Sookie! It's so good to see you. Tell Eric I say hello as well, although I'm sure he just heard me."

"Um sure, I will." It was weird that Eric was here and I couldn't sense him at all. It was also strange that Sophie-Anne treated him like a regular person almost. I guess I did too when I saw him. It was just weird to have someone else involved in this secret little world we had been sharing the past few days.

"Are you here for more books?" She asked and I wondered why a psychic didn't know the answer to that.

"Actually I was wondering if I could pick your brain about some…. Stuff I had questions about?" A customer walked in then so I went with a vague description.

"Oh sure! I'd love that! I close the shop at 12 for my lunch break, maybe we could go grab something to eat and talk then?" Sophie-Anne was all smiles and radiant.

"Okay that sounds good. I can just meet you here at noon?"

"Perfect, I'll see you then Sookie." She smiled but had to hustle off to help the customer who had come in.

I decided to get some chores done since I had a couple hours to waste. I walked up the hill and turned onto main street, and visited a few shops. Thankfully it was still spring so tourists weren't crawling all over the shops already. In summer people liked to travel up here, then infest the old fashioned downtown areas that we still used in Maine. We didn't have huge plazas in every town with Wal-Mart and Target. If we wanted to visit those it was usually a forty minute drive to the closest one.

After I picked up a few necessities I ended up walking down to the docks. I found Eric's fishing boat tied to the dock just as he left it. I was never the boat expert. But I had learned a lot about it since being with Eric. I could at least drive and dock it myself. I remembered learning and getting very frustrated when docking the boat felt like parallel parking a damn car.

I climbed onto the boat and put my bags down. I could just hang out here for the next half hour while I waited for Sophie-Anne. As usual lately, my mind wandered to the past.

_Flashback one year ago…_

"Sookie! Are you ready yet?" Eric yelled across the bedroom.

I was standing in our bathroom that directly attached to the master suite. It was his parent's 25th. anniversary party and my husband was being quite impatient about getting there. They lived about twenty minutes down the road from us. We had plenty of time. "Give me ten minutes I just need to finish doing my hair."

I peered over at him and rolled my eyes. He was pacing around the bedroom. Sometimes he could be so OCD when it came to arriving on time for events. I was enjoying the view though, he looked good in his jeans and black button down. Eric did not put on button down shirts too often. Being an electrician did not call for that. So when I did get to see him dressed a bit nicer I had to take advantage of it.

"Has it been ten minutes yet?" He was standing the doorway now.

"No and if you hadn't decided to take my dress off earlier, after I was done getting ready, I wouldn't be redoing my hair right now." I turned back to the mirror but could see him grinning out of the corner of my eye.

"Eh, I guess it's worth it to be late then. We could always go for round two and be really late. I won't mind sacrificing being on time for that." It was a tempting offer but I did not want to be late to the anniversary party. I liked his parents and that would be rude.

"You can wait until we get home mister, and that's if I feel like sacrificing my time to watch Friends reruns on TBS." I kept a serious face on and started putting my curling iron away.

Eric stepped up behind me and looked over my shoulder, catching my gaze in the mirror. "You're seriously picking a television show over me?" He had his eyebrow raised as if he could not believe this blasphemy.

I finished putting everything away and turned to face him. I hooked my fingers through his belt loops and pulled him closer. "Don't worry I'm sure I could do both things at the same time. We do have a TV in our bedroom." I giggled and Eric looked horrified for a second before he started laughing.

"I'll take that as a challenge. When we get back I dare you to turn that TV on. We'll see if you end up remembering anything from the damn episode once I'm done having my way with you." He was leaning over me now, his voice a quiet growl in my ear. I stood up on my tip-toes and kissed him. Maybe we could just stay home?

In seconds Eric had lifted me up and put me on the edge of the counter, pulling my legs around his waist. "Woah, hey, remember that party?" I had my hands on his chest, pushing him back slightly. Eric smiled and helped me off the counter. "Unfortunately, yes."

We left the house hand in hand then hopped into my car to drive to his parent's house. I made Eric drive my car instead of his pickup. I hated climbing into that damn Ford F250 with a dress on. It was a quiet but comfortable drive. Eric's fingers were tracing over my palm absent mindedly. I had to admit I was happy that even after an entire year of marriage, we were still very much in love. Of course things had changed from when we were dating, and even from those first few months of marriage. Things were not always a perfect honeymoon stage and we had our stupid quarrels. But both of us had never expected things to just be perfect and seamless. Even when we were dating Eric and I agreed that was impossible not matter how in love you were. I think that's why we both worked so well together. We were realistic about what love really meant. It didn't mean life suddenly became easy or you were constantly blissful. It meant you had a person who would always be there even on the rainy days. Eric was definitely always there for me and I would always be there for him. There was not a single doubt in my mind about that.

"What are you smiling about?" Eric turned onto his parent's road.

"Just thinking about you." I could see cars lining the road and the driveway was full already.

"And my awesome skills in bed?" He was such a doofus and typical man at times.

"Something like that." I laughed as we parked the car and got out.

We crossed the large front yard to the one story, grey house that his parents lived in. The small porch area was lined with rope between the posts, much like the docks you saw around here. The entire house had a nautical theme in each room. It was no wonder where Eric got his love for the ocean from. His father had a boat as well but it was a much bigger, cruising type of boat. I was fortunate that I got along with Jack and Nora Northman from day one. They were hardworking people that had worked their entire lives to reach the place they were in now. I would definitely classify them as upper middle class. Once I started talking about school and how I had just landed a full-time job at the aquarium they took an instant liking to me. Now the only thing they were both waiting on were grandkids. Nora questioned me all the time and Eric would tell his mother she needed to back off. I just took it all in stride. She wanted grandchildren but I also wasn't going to have any kids until I was ready.

As soon as I stepped foot into the house Nora rushed over. "Sookie! You made it!" She wrapped me up in a hug and Eric was already talking to his father.

"Of course we made it, happy anniversary, you must be excited." I smiled and started walking to the gift table. I placed down the small box I had wrapped up earlier and tucked the card beneath the bow.

"I am, it's been a good 25 years for the most part. Besides dealing with that old coot Jack." She winked and led me over to the food. Nora always had a sarcastic sense of humor, I think that's where Pam got most of her traits from. Although Pam definitely took it to a different extreme than her mother.

"Is Pam here yet?" I had yet to spot her.

" She's out in the backyard with Alcide we have a little campfire setup." I was surprised since Pam usually made fun of Alcide. He had been one of Eric's high school friends and now his coworker. So Alcide was basically another family member at this point. He and Pam bickered like siblings.

"So Sookie, do you have any news for us?" Nora ushered me to sit down at the dining room table with her. We both had full plates so I knew I was in for a full conversation while we ate.

"I got promoted to a management position at work." I smiled and took a bite of macaroni salad. I knew that was not the news she wanted.

"Honey you know what I'm asking you. I ask everytime I see you!"

"The answer is no, I'm no pregnant and we are not trying. Sorry to burst your bubble."I tried to be nice about it because I knew she only had good intentions.

"Mom, are you bothering my wife again?" Thankfully Eric chose that moment to come sit down next to me. He gave me a look that screamed 'sorry about my crazy mother'.

"Eric how could you accuse your poor old mother of that? I'm just curious." She smiled and took a sip of her drink.

"Sure you are. We already explained why we're waiting, it will happen, you just need to be patient." Eric was now picking food from my plate. Nora seemed to realize her son was done with the conversation and decided to get up and answer the door as more guests arrived.

"I'm sorry she does that to you all the time. I've explained to her a million times that I want to get that promotion at work first." Eric shook his head and I wrapped my fingers around his. This also stopped him from picking at my food, it was a two in one deal.

"It's okay. I know she's just excited and it's not like she gets too personal and starts asking about our sex life. That's where I draw the line." I smiled and returned to my food. I had to swat Eric away two more times before he finally gave in and went to get his own food. I did want children in my future but I wanted to make sure we were in a good financial spot for it. Eric and I both wanted to be able to get our kids braces if they needed them, be prepared for any potential medical issues, and help send our kids to college down the road. That's why we were hoping Eric would get the promotion his boss promised him. Then that extra savings account we had started would grow much faster.

It turned out that the guests Nora got up to greet were my parents. My mom was chatting with Nora but Jack and my Dad came to sit down with us after getting some food. "So, how is the old married couple doing?"

"You better mean them and not us." Jack replied.

"Of course!" My father laughed and started digging into the pasta on his plate.

"We're good Dad. Same as usual." I smiled and looked over at Eric who was inhaling the pile of food on his plate. I don't know how he fit all of that food into his stomach and still managed to be in shape. Maybe if I was 6'4" I would be able to eat like a thirteen year old and look like a model. I swear Eric ate Twinkies for breakfast last Saturday.

"How's that boat running Eric?" My Dad always asked Eric about the boat. I think he was jealous he never splurged and bought one himself. He always said it was too much maintenance to be worth it, yet he always agreed to come with us on the boat when Eric and I invited him.

"Good, I have it winterized and stored in Alcide's garage." Eric shoved some more food into his bottomless stomach.

For awhile the boys kept up conversation about boats and cars. Eric and his father argued with my Dad about how Fords were the best trucks around. My Dad was a Chevy man and I knew there would be no convincing him otherwise. I looked outside and noticed tiny snowflakes starting to fall. There was snow in the forecast tonight, supposedly we were in for a decent sized snow storm tomorrow. It was Sunday night so I was praying for a snow day from work.

Once we finished eating Eric and I bundled up in our coats and headed outside for a bit. Now I realized the dress was a poor choice in clothing. But I had not been planning on there being a campfire at this shindig. We headed out to the fire to find Pam and Alcide sitting in a couple of lawn chairs.

"You guys haven't ripped each other's throats out yet?" Eric smiled, cloudy puffs of fog filling the air with each breath he exhaled.

"Nope, Alcide and I are getting along just fine." Pam said in a rather bored tone.

"Man your sister is sitting here yapping about her new purse. I'm glad you decided to finally join us." He shook his head. That would explain it. Pam was fine because she was the one doing all the talking. Typical.

"Don't worry I'm here to rescue you." Eric stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Thank god! I was freezing out here! I leaned back into his embrace to try and absorb every bit of body heat I could get.

"Thank you" I said through chattering teeth. I felt him kiss the top of my head.

"Could you two stop being so god damn happy? There are two single and miserable people at this fire. At least pretend to be in one of those married couple arguments or something." Pam had been single for awhile now and Alcide just broke up with his recent girlfriend Debbie. She had been quite the clingy psycho so we were all happy that was over and done.

"Sorry Pam, we're just so in loooove" I giggled and pulled Eric down for a kiss. He of course obliged but then had to turn it into him shoving his tongue down my throat. Alcide starting making cat calls.

"Are you two working on my anniversary gift?!" Nora was yelling across the yard as she made her way to the fire with Jack. Oh god, Eric and I ended the kiss quickly then. She was so not getting a grandchild as her gift, crazy old woman.

Jack pulled his wfe along to sit down on the last two lawn chairs near the fire. He was much calmer and more logical than Nora. He grounded her and she gave him that spark his life needed. "Sorry Sookie, she just can't keep her crazy mouth shut."

"Excuse me?" Old Jack was getting the evil eye from his wife now. We all just grinned and kept quiet. Everyone knew better than to get involved there.

By the time we left Eric's parent's place there was two inches of snow on the ground. It was beautiful. I did make Eric carry me to the car bridal style though. My feet were freezing in these tiny dress heels.

"You're lucky I love you" he mumbled as he placed me down next to the car.

"I am" I smiled and plopped right down in the passenger's seat.

"I hope we get a snow day." Eric pulled onto the road and we slowly drove home. With the roads being slick we did not drive anywhere over 30 miles per hour.

"Me too" I replied and turned the heat up.

What do you know, hours later Eric woke me up in bed.

"Sookie! Sookie!" I wanted to swat him in the face. I was asleep and so comfy.

"Shhhhh" I rolled over and pulled my pillow over my head.

"Wake up old woman" He was now hovering over me with his hands on either side of my head and his knees on either side of my hips. Then he proceeded to bounce up and down like a monkey so the bed was shaking. He weighed like double what I did, so I was bouncing around.

"Eric!" I spun around and smacked him in the head with my pillow.

"Ow! It's snowed six more inches, we have a snow day." I stared up at him then looked at the clock. It was 3AM. Then I got out of bed to look out the window myself.

"Oh my gosh, it looks like 9 or 10 inches of snow already and it's supposed to snow all day right?" Eric had gotten up now and peered out the window with me.

"Yep, so we'll definitely have well over a foot of snow. No way we're going to be driving to work in that." He smiled and I grabbed his hand and started dragging him downstairs.

"Sorry I hit you with my pillow by the way." I went straight to the kitchen and started making cocoa. Eric and I always took advantage of our snow days together. We would camp out in the house and watch movies all day and eat junk food.

"I'll forgive you once I get my hot chocolate with extra marshmallows." He was already digging through the movie cabinet we had chock full of DVDs.

Once I had the two mugs full of steaming cocoa I settled down on the couch next to Eric. He had about three blankets piled up around him and quickly made room for me in that cocoon he had setup. Then we settled down to watch whatever he picked out at 3AM.

The Rudolph claymation movie came on the screen and I smiled, snuggling myself closer to him. I loved watching this movie around the holidays even if it was for kids. Eric had his arm around my shoulders making it easier to burrow into his side.

"I wonder what it'd be like to live at the North Pole…" He mused as Rudolph learned to fly.

"Cold?" I thought it was obvious.

"I guess but I like the cold. Some places are too hot and only good for vacation." He put down his empty mug.

"Like Australia?" Eric and I had talked about visiting someday. We both thought the wildlife and landscape were fascinating but neither of us wanted to make such a drastic move. So vacation it was.

"Exactly, it seems like the summer would be so hot and dry there. Plus all those venomous snakes might get sickening." Very true we learned that on Animal Planet.

"But the kangaroos look cute, I need a pet kangaroo." I pulled the blankets up around me more. Our house was always on the chilly side since it was fairly old.

"Yes because that's realistic." He chuckled quietly. I shrugged, a girl could dream right?

"Maybe I can settle for a dog someday." I thought a nice mutt from the pound could fit in well at our house.

"What about kids? Do we want a dog running around with a baby in the house?" That took me by surprise. We had definitely discussed kids but we always put it on the backburner for financial reasons. Had Eric changed his mind?

I leaned back some so I could look into his blue eyes. "I thought we wanted to wait awhile?"

Eric shrugged and looked off at the television for a bit. He seemed to really be thinking about this. "I know but you just got that promotion, and we already have been saving up. We're in a good place financially, we have our house…. So why not now? Sometimes I feel like we keep pushing it off because we freak ourselves out by thinking about everything that might go wrong."

We totally did that. Eric and I always found something to stop us from trying. First it was we wanted to be married for awhile, then we wanted our house, then it was a million other little things that didn't matter as much as the big things. We definitely had all the important things covered at this point.

"I guess you're right. Now could be perfect a time as any." I smiled and Eric actually looked relieved. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing it's stupid." He ran his fingers through his already messy blonde hair.

"Eric…" I was going to force it out of him so he might as well cave now.

"I've just been worrying lately that maybe part of you didn't want kids, and that's why we always seemed to find an excuse." He was staring at his feet on the carpet now.

"Eric" I held his face so he had to look at me. "I know way back when we first met I said I wasn't sure. Back then I wasn't, a baby was never something I wanted to plan for. If it happened then I'd love that kid and raise it the best I could. But I never wanted to purposely have a kid." Eric frowned at my words.

"But after being with you for a few months I quickly changed my mind. I fell in love with you, and you're the man I want to have a baby with. I want to plan it all out and enjoy every second of it with you." Eric really did change my mind about it. I saw how good he was with some of his younger cousins who were only in elementary school. He was a natural with kids and I loved him. So that alone made me want to share something like this with him.

I guess my answer was the right one because Eric tackled me onto the couch and started kissing me. I couldn't help but smile. "You do know that you can't get me pregnant tonight? I took my pill this morning as usual."

"That's okay" He breathed against my neck. "We can practice for the real event." I giggled and let myself get lost in his touch. Eric was addicting once he got started. We spent our snow day on the couch having sex and watching movies. It was a freaking awesome day.

_Present Day…_

"Shit!" I noticed it was just past noon. I was late to meet Sophie-Anne at the book shop. I gathered up my things and jogged up the dock. Then my foot hit an uneven board and I knew I was about to go flying flat on my face. I always seemed to fall on these damn docks. But then two strong arms reached out and held me up until I had my balance again.

I turned around to thank whoever it was, but no one was there. The dock was empty as it had been and I was alone. I glanced around and then realized Sophie-Anne was right, he was always with me. "Thanks Eric" I whispered then made my way to the bookstore at a much slower pace.

_a/n: as always please send me a nice little review 3 I'd ship you ASkars in thanks, but I haven't been able to kidnap him quite yet... _


	8. Chapter 8

_a/n: thanks again for reading! The next update for this might be a bit slow, along with my other story 'About a Girl and a Boy'. I just landed a new job and will be spending extra time at the office for the transition and all that jazz. Woo! But I'll still be writing, just a tad slower for a couple weeks! Now let's see what good old Sophie has to say!_

**CHAPTER 8**

I made it up to the book shop and Sophie-Anne was locking up. I hoped I had not kept her waiting too long. "Sorry,I lost track of time."

"That's alright, I expected you would be a few minutes late." She smiled and started leading the way up the street to a corner café. That was weird but I let the comment slide. No use in questioning the psychic lady right?

Once we were both settled down at a window table in the front of the café, and had placed our orders, the real conversation could begin. Sophie-Anne was stirring up the iced coffee she had purchased. "So anymore sightings?"

I thought about that and realized I had not seen the actual ghost Eric outside of my dreams since I last spoke with her. "Well... this will sound even more insane..." I stared down at the diet coke I had in front of me.

"Nothing is impossible Sookie." She gave me a gentle smile.

"Okay I haven't seen him when I'm awake. But I've talked to him in my dreams." Even though I fully believed it now, it was still hard to say out loud.

"Interesting... what are these dreams like? Memories? Are they hard to remember?" Sophie-Anne asked curiously and without the least bit of judgement.

"No they're actually very vivid. Usually within a few seconds I realize I'm dreaming, and then I have conversations with Eric that I've never had before. He even says that he knows he's dead and looks sad about it. Do you think the Eric in my dreams and his ghost are the same?" I believed they were but it would still be nice to have her confirmation on it.

Sophie-Anne looked quite captivated and even excited. "Wow, so you're having lucid dreams. That what it's called when you know you are in a dream. This is very interesting Sookie. It sounds like your husband's spirit is definitely communicating with you through your dreams as well. In fact it's probably easier for him that way." She said with a thoughtful nod.

"How so?" It definitely seemed like Eric could talk to me in my dreams better than when I was awake. At the lighthouse our conversations had been short and he seemed to be struggling.

"Think about it, Eric no longer has a body to physically communicate with you. So talking to you right now would be a struggle for him, since you're still using your physical body to produce words and movement. It's like you're both speaking a different language. But when you're asleep you are using your mind and maybe even some type of energy." She explained and then our sandwiches arrived.

I picked the pickles off of my sandwich before taking a bite. "So you're saying in my dreams it's more like we speak the same language? So it's easier for Eric?" I think I sort of understood.

Sophie-Anne nodded with enthusiasm. "Exactly. I've always believed spirits exist right alongside us, but it's like a radio frequency. The living people exist on the FM channel and the dead exist on the AM channel. We all coexist right alongside one another but most of us have no idea it's happening. It seems like your dreams are providing a place for you and Eric to meet in the middle."

I thought over her words carefully. When she worded it that way it did make sense. So in my dreams it was like I was a few steps closer to existing in that AM frequency that Eric was constantly living in now? I think that was what Sophie-Anne was trying to say. Plus like she said, in my dreams I couldn't use my physical body to communicate, just like Eric no longer could. I felt there should be a nice in depth book about this, or a decent blog I could start following. Geesh!

"But do spirits go anywhere? Heaven or an after life of some sort?" I asked while trying to make sure I ate a few bites of my food. I had lost weight since losing my husband and not in a healthy way. It was just due to a lack of appetite, not exercising or eating right.

Sophie-Anne shrugged her shoulders. Damn it, I guess even she did not have all of the answers. "In most of the research I've done it seems like our souls do move on to somewhere else completely, where we can't communicate in even the ways Eric is now. But some spirits don't move on to whatever that place is right away. They have a reason to stick around or they are just afraid of moving on into the unknown."

She added another spoonful of sugar to her iced coffee. I don't know how that wasn't liquid candy at this point. "In your case Eric seems to be sticking around because of you."

"He said he couldn't move on without me." I frowned. I worried that maybe he would be happier moving onto whatever after life there was, instead of sticking around to chat with me once inawhile.

"Don't be too upset Sookie. It means he really loves you if he's waiting." I tried to smile at her but the tears were pricking the backs of my eyes. I wiped them away quickly. "I'm sorry, I cry all the time these days..."

"No need to apologize, you have to let the sadness seep out so you can be happy again." I wondered if she got that saying from some spiritual book, or if she really just came up with it on her own.

I sighed, running my hands over my face. I had held it together okay the past day or so. Now it felt like it was all rushing back to me. I wanted to fall to the floor in a million pieces and let the aching inside of myself tear me apart. Sometimes it was easier to think about giving up. I'm not talking about suicide or anything that extreme. But I just wanted to go hideout in my bed with comfy pajamas and never get up again.

"Sookie, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. You suffered a terrible loss. But you have a rare connection with Eric, try to look at it as a good thing. You know that even though he isn't with you in the same way he's still okay." Sophie-Anne was being so nice, it almost felt like I had known her much longer than a few days.

"Thanks Sophie." I sniffled a little and finally smiled.

"None of Eric's family has seen his ghost still?" I shook my head.

"No just me. Eric even said to me in my dream that he wasn't sure they would be able to see him." I guess it was a connection thing? I don't really know.

"Hmmm, maybe you should ask them. What if they saw him and just never mentioned it to you? They could be thinking they were going insane just like you were thinking when this started." Sophie-Anne finished off her iced coffee and seemed displeased the cup was empty.

"I'll think about it. I'm just worried they won't believe me, or I'll make recovering even harder for them by bringing this up." I so badly wanted to tell Amelia or Pam. Even if they did not see him just sharing my experiences would make me feel better, knowing they believed me.

"Well I have to get back to the shop." Sophie-Anne said with a frown and got up. I followed after her and threw out my trash in the bin by the door. When we got back out to the street she handed me a piece of paper with her cell number on it.

"Call me if you need to talk, even if it's not about ghost stuff." She smiled once more then headed off to her small shop. Eric was right, she really did seem like a good person. I tucked the number into my pocket and headed for my car. Next stop for the day would be walking out to Harper's Light once more.

I drove back to the house and parked the car in the driveway. Then I zipped up my windbreaker and headed into the backyard and to the trail that lead to the rocky shore the lighthouse was on. It was a bright and sunny day but the air was a bit on the cool side. As I neared the end of the trail my heart pumped an extra beat. I couldn't help the anxious nerves I felt. What if Eric was not there? What if he was and I got to speak with him? Either result had my stomach doing flip-flops.

I walked right up to the lighthouse and pulled the door open. Then carefully shut it behind me. It groaned and squeaked on its rusty hinges. Once it was shut I turned around and there was Eric. I didn't even have to call his name out. He was standing there in the same Ford t-shirt, his image slightly glowing but this time he had a hint of color to him. Maybe he was getting better at the ghost energy thing?

"Hey" I breathed with a small smile. It was still strange to see him like this.

"Hi, you remembered?" He asked and I could see the hope in his eyes.

"Last night? Of course I do. I remember all of it, and promising to visit you here." I stepped closer. I was quite curious about trying to touch him.

"Good. I was worried you might not remember a dream so well." Eric took a step closer this time.

"I talked to Sophie-Anne today. She explained why it's easier for you to talk to me in my dreams." I explained and Eric nodded. I guess he was technically there for the conversation. Sophie said he was pretty much always around me.

"Yes, I don't think I could explain it much better than her. It's so strange Sookie. I just want to reach out and hold your hand, or hug you… and I can't." Eric's heartbroken expression was making me want to cry, again.

"Wait, but, didn't you catch me today on the docks?" I know no one else was there. I also doubted a second ghost was trailing me.

"I did!" He actually smiled at that and it made me feel better. I wanted him to be happy. "Usually that doesn't work but I saw you about to fall and just focused all of my energy into that. I had to focus on the feeling, and my desire to help you, rather than thinking about physically moving. I think that's the difference. Sometimes I forget I don't have a physical body to move around with anymore."

My eyes started watering at that. Damn it! I was such a sopping mess these days. Eric reached out to brush away my tears and I held my breath. He had never tried to touch me as a ghost like this. Usually he flickered away too fast. When his thumb touched my cheek it was like feeling a thick, cold fog brush up against my face. It was strange but the only way I can think to describe it, sort of like walking through a chilling mist. Except the mist was focused in the shape of Eric's thumb. It did nothing to stop the tear from running down my face.

I reached up and could still feel the chill on my skin when he pulled back. I could tell by his expression he was disappointed at how that felt. It was nothing like the dream we had shared last night. "Are you feeling weak at all? Like you might have to go soon?" I wanted to stay and talk to him.

"I think I'm okay right now. It's getting a bit easier." Eric's apparition moved to sit on the metal staircase. I pulled over the little chair that was at the desk and sat across from him.

"So….are you okay?" I did not want to hold him back from heaven or wherever he was supposed to go.

"I'm fine. I miss being with you, but I'm okay." I scanned him for his typical lying expression.

"Hey, I'm not lying, so stop checking to see if my eye is twitching." He smirked and I had to laugh quietly. That was always Eric's giveaway when he was lying. His left eye would just randomly twitch while he was in the middle of his lie.

"Sorry, old habits die hard." I smiled.

"What about you?" The concern was evident his eyes.

"I'm… managing. You know I miss you, I just wish that night never happened. We're supposed to be together still." I bit my lip and fought away the sobs and tears.

"We're still together, just in a different way." He whispered but I knew it was not what he wanted. We both wanted more.

"Eric I was talking to Sophie today and it got me thinking… I don't want you waiting here for me for years. What if there is a heaven for you to go to? Wouldn't you be happier there? I can only be with you when I'm asleep. The rest of the hours in the day we're usually apart." I could not live with myself knowing I guilted him into being some lonely ghost haunting a lighthouse.

Eric shook his head and almost looked angry. "I'll never be happy anywhere without you Sookie. Don't you see that? I'm waiting not just because I want to, I need to. I can't exist without you anymore. You're my life, even if I don't get to live it." His words were heavy with conviction and determination.

I wanted to hug him and never let go. But that was not possible right now. "O-okay" I stuttered since I was now crying. He wasn't making me sad, it was just all of the emotions tumbling around inside of me. Then I noticed his image turning more black and white. He stood up slowly and seemed to know time was running short.

"I'll see you soon Sookie. I love you." He started to fade and flicker.

"I love you." I whispered back to him before he fully faded to nothing. I remained in the lighthouse for a few more minutes and just let myself cry. Sometimes it was good to cry like Sophie-Anne said. I let the tears run in rivers down my face and at one point I could have sworn I felt fingers lightly brush them away. Eric was still with me even if I couldn't see him at the moment. I smiled at the thought and gathered myself up. I headed back up to the house and noticed a familiar car in the driveway.

I got up to the porch and spotted Pam sitting in one of the rocking chairs we had bought awhile back. "Hey Pam" I wiped away the last evidence of my tears.

"Hello Sookie, is it okay if I hang here for a bit? I just don't want to be alone. My thoughts get so loud." Pam explained with a blank and drawn expression. She looked exhausted.

"Sure." I took the rocking chair next to her and we sat in peaceful silence for awhile.

"Today Eric and I were supposed to pick out flowers to surprise our Mom. He said it would be nice to help her fill those new flower boxes she bought." Pam's voice was monotone but I knew this was killing her too.

"I'm sorry Pam. I know it's not the same, but I could help you sometime if you still wanted to do that for Nora." I figured she would say no but it couldn't hurt to make the gesture. Pam just nodded.

"I could have sworn he reminded me. Somehow the paper with the number for the florist was sitting on my counter today. He had written down the number weeks ago and gave it to me. I remember stuffing it in my purse but this morning there it was… unfolded and sitting on the counter." Pam explained and my heart leapt while my stomach did flip-flops.

Was Eric really doing that? I supposed he could leave me for five minutes to do that while I did boring things like shower and brush my teeth. Although I wouldn't put it past him to be checking me out in the shower as a ghost. He was little troublemaker like that. But Pam could also be tired from all of the stress, and simply be forgetting she took it out herself the night before. That was reasonable considering the situation.

"Oh…." I did not want to risk saying much more.

"I know fucking nuts right? I know I'm just tired and I miss him." She turned to look at me then. "But sometimes I swear it feels like he's around, even though I don't believe in that crap."

I couldn't take it anymore. Sophie-Anne had understood so maybe Pam would too. Maybe she had seen more than she was letting on and wanted someone to confirm it? She could be seeing Eric and thinking she was crazy like I did.

"Pam, what if I told you he is around?" My voice was shaky with nerves at my confession.

"What? You kind of get that feeling too? I think its normal after someone passes on. Those grieving books say that shit. Not that I read that crap." She said with an eyeroll.

"No… I mean Eric is really still here with us. I've seen him Pam." I looked at her desperately trying to show her I was serious. Now Pam was staring at me like I had two heads.

"Sookie what are you talking about? I'm saying I just had some fleeting feeling. It's just because we miss him." Pam was trying to be logical on me now?!

"No I saw his ghost in the lighthouse. I actually saw Eric and I've spoken to him then he just fades away…. Like a ghost." I left out the dream stuff for now.

Pam looked bewildered and she was silent for a few tense seconds. "That's a sick joke Sookie." Now she seemed mad?

"I'm not joking, you know me, I wouldn't do that. I loved Eric and I still love him. I would never tell you this for kicks. I swear to god I have seen his ghost and had a conversation with him. Eric is still here!" I was practically yelling now. I needed to calm down, but I wanted her to believe me. I would never lie about this.

Pam stood abruptly. "Damn Sookie, you're letting the stress get to you. Are you crazy? Eric is dead. He died in that car accident and he isn't coming back. I don't know what's up with you….but I don't feel like dragging this hell out. I came over here thinking I could sit with someone who missed him as much as me. Not talk to someone who is delusional and dragging this pain out by pretending he's still around." She snapped then headed down the steps and hopped into her car. I could see her wiping tears from her face as she flew out of the driveway.

I stood frozen on the porch. She did not believe me. Pam thought I was crazy and just dragging her pain out. I guess in some way that was a rational reaction, but she could have been nicer about it. Pam was not known for her people pleasing manners though. I knew someday I'd forgive her because she was just hurting right now. But at the moment I was angry and upset. She thought I was lying and it hurt like hell. She accused me of being crazy and hearing her talk so coldly about Eric being dead was hard to hear.

I headed into the house eventually then crawled into my bed and cried. I wanted to stop crying but it just felt like it would never go away. Pam thought I was nuts, Eric was dead as she so bluntly put it….and it just hurt that someone I was so close with did not believe me. It bothered me even more that she did not believe in her brother.

It was only the afternoon but I never bothered getting out of bed to eat or change. I just curled up in a ball and hid from the world. I cried until there were no more tears left in me.

_Flashback 3 months ago…_

I needed to stop looking at medical websites on my computer. They always freaked me out and I assumed the worst. Eric and I had been trying to get pregnant for 9 months now. According to my doctor he saw no need to test either of us until we had been trying for a full year. Up until now Eric and I had both always been healthy at our physical's so the doctor said it could just be the normal challenges of conceiving. I was worried though. Something did not feel right in my gut, what if something was wrong with one or both of us? What if we could never have a child together?

"Sookie… I thought you were going to stop looking up creepy medical shit online?" Eric came in the door from work, covered in sawdust from working in some construction zone all day. I guess they were putting an addition on the house he was doing electrical work in.

"Yeah.. I just went online to look up a recipe and got sidetracked." I replied lamely.

"Sook, you have to stop freaking out okay? Stressing yourself out isn't going to help." Eric came and sat next to me at the kitchen table.

It was amazing how not too long ago I wouldn't have cared about pregnancy and babies. But I had Eric now and ever since we decided to go for it, my heart jumped into this mission too. I had no say in it what so ever. One day things were normal and then suddenly it just hit me. I realized how much I wanted this, how much I would love having a family with Eric. But now it seemed to be just out of reach for us.

Eric had my hand in his now which easily enveloped my own. I still had no idea how he was such a god damn giant. "I know, I know" I sighed and shut the laptop with my free hand. "I just want this so badly, and I can't help but worry something might be wrong. What if we can't have a baby together? What if it's just not possible for us?"

Eric finally just reached over and pulled me onto his lap. I appreciated the extra contact, it was comforting to just wrap my arms around him. I leaned forward and rested my chin on his shoulder.

"If it's not possible then we can adopt, or we'll just go on being happy just the two of us. But I don't think there's anything wrong Sookie. The doctor said it can take awhile, especially if we can't follow a schedule when it comes to sex." I nodded against his shoulder but remained quiet. The doctor had given us some paperwork that helped figure out ovulation and all of that. But in the end he said the best thing you can do is try to have sex at least every other day.

"And you know how much I'd love for my life to revolve around sex." He chuckled and I finally had to smile. "But unfortunately we both have full-time jobs and commitments. So we haven't followed the schedule all the time, and it's still only been 9 months." Eric reasoned out logically and I felt some of the twist in my gut relax.

I turned my face towards him and pressed a few kisses against his neck. "Thanks"

He tightened his arms around me. "Anytime, it's my duty as husband to pull you down from the ledge when you're ready to have a meltdown."

I leaned back and stuck my tongue out at him. Eric was smiling and it forced me to lean in and kiss him. What? I couldn't resist that cute overbite. Ever.

_Present Day…_

I rolled onto my back and wiped at my eyes. They had that dry crunchy feeling to them from falling asleep crying. I sniffled a few times and tried to think about how to get Pam to believe me.

"I'm sorry" His voice was quiet. I looked over and realized I must still be asleep. Apparently I was dreaming about waking up now too.

"For what?" My voice sounded all raspy. How unfair, this was my dream, I should sound fine and not like I just cried for an hour.

"My sister. You know how stubborn and pig headed she can be. I'm sorry I put you in this position." Eric was sitting up in our bed but I was still laying down, so I had to look up at him.

"Don't be. I'm upset Pam thinks I'm lying or crazy… but I would never give this up." I pushed myself up enough to rest my head on his chest. Eric automatically moved his arm so it was around me.

"I don't want people to think you're crazy. I don't care if they believe I'm around still. I just hate that it's causing you to feel this way." Eric sighed and it almost seemed like he was seriously considering all of this.

I sat up completely then and looked him in the eye. "Don't you dare think about disappearing on me Eric Northman. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm bat shit crazy. I love you and if all I get to have is a piece of you then that's enough. It has to be." I was determined to keep him in my life. Even if he was just a ghost it was better than no Eric at all.

"What about all of that stuff you said about me moving on being better? We don't what else is out there." His fingers were moving in soothing circles on my back. But all I felt was tense.

"If that's what you really want to do I support it. You know that. I want you to be doing what's best for you. But last I knew you didn't want to be without me just like I don't want to be without you. " I could feel myself trembling. I was so afraid I might lose him again.

"I can't be without you." He whispered and that was enough to answer any questions I had about him leaving. Eric was not going anywhere. People could think I was nuts all they wanted but deep down I knew this was right. We weren't supposed to be separated so quickly, our life together was not supposed to be cut short. Could this be fate's way of trying to make up for it?

I felt at ease now and moved so Eric was lying down with me. I had my head on his chest again and was amazed once more at the realness of my dream world. I could each breath he took, feel the rise and fall of his chest, and hear his heartbeat.

"So, you're looking pretty hot in the shower these days Stackhouse." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"You're such a doofus." I smacked his stomach playfully and cuddled up against him more. It was nice to be like this with him. We didn't always have to be so serious. Joking around with him right now almost made it feel like old times.

_a/n: Will Pam ever believe Sookie? Is Eric eventually going to leave, realizing he's having a bad effect on her life? Why is Sookie not going to be alone? All questions that will be answered soon my lovely readers! Also if you've been crying through most of this story, next chapter is DEFINITELY getting a double tissue warning!_


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

_a/n: major tissue warning for this chapter. This entire story has been fairly angsty so if I'm giving ya'll a warning you know we have some emotional stuff coming up. If anyone is curious I was listening to Pearl Jam's – Last Kiss while I wrote this chapter. Take a listen if you get a chance. Also I usually reread my chapters for spelling errors before posting, I kinda skipped that this time. So sorry for any major typos._

I had yet to make Pam believe me. I tried calling her once but she either was not home or refused to pick up. I was off to lunch with Amelia today. It was my last day off from work. Tomorrow I would go back to the aquarium and reality. I was not sure how I felt about that.

"Hey Sook!" Amelia pulled down the gravel drive and waved to me from her car. I had been waiting on the porch and jogged down, getting in the car so we could head to town.

"So how are you?" Amelia was looking at the road but there was that sympathetic tone in her voice.

"Crappy, but that's expected." I was just being honest and not trying to make her pity me. I already knew people pitied me no matter what once they found out.

"Yeah, well, you look a little better today. So that's good. Where do you want to head for lunch?" We both decided on the Owl's Head Store. It was a small general store near another lighthouse two towns over. It was just a tiny place with a small store area and oddly enough a few tables to sit down and eat were in one corner. They only served pizza and sandwiches.

Once we were seated and had order Amelia brought up a sensitive subject. "Have you seen Pam lately? She's being bitchier than usual. I called yesterday and she practically hung up on me." She rolled her eyes while stirring her coffee.

"Um, that might be my fault…" Pam would tell her eventually so I wanted Amelia to hear it from me first. I wondered how crazy she would think I was.

"Why?"

"I might have told Pam that I see Eric's ghost… on a regular basis." I looked down at the coke I had and held my breath.

"What?" Amelia questioned and when I stayed quite she asked more. "What do you mean Sookie? When have you seen him?" She seemed calmer than Pam so far.

"I see him at Harper's Lighthouse. At first I thought I was crazy but it's real Ames I swear. Even this medium at the book shop agrees with me." I reasoned and waited for her to flip out.

"You just see him? Is he all white and glowy? Or is he like… normal? Do you talk? And who is this medium?" Amelia fired off a bunch of questions. She seemed skeptical but curious. I could deal with that.

The food arrived then so I kept explaining while we ate. "Not exactly. He looks just like he did the night he died. Same clothes, haircut, except he has this faded color to him. I guess there is a bit of a glow to him when I see him like that too." I pondered and tried my best to describe it. "The medium is Sophie-Anne. She owns the Owl & Turtle book shop in Camden. She just approached me and kind of said she could sense a male presence with me."

Amelia looked shocked but she was not mad or anything like Pam. I was relieved she seemed to believe me enough to ask questions. "You said when you see him like that… you see him in other ways?"

I had to ignore the slight blush creeping up my cheeks. I was not telling Amelia about dream sex with ghost Eric. That was just too much information to share. "I see him in my dreams."

Amelia shoved another piece of pizza in her mouth. Such a classy woman. "Couldn't that just be a normal dream? It would make sense with all that's happened."

I shook my head. "I don't think so. It's so different from my other dreams. Usually I can barely remember my dreams but these ones are so vivid. I wake up and it feels like I never really went to sleep because I remember it all clear as day. I've had dreams about Eric since he died, where they're just memories playing over in my head. But these ones are so different. Everything is so real, he is so real. In them he knows he's dead and he talks about the lighthouse, even my argument with Pam."

Amelia nodded her head slowly. "Okay… I'm not saying it's not true Sook. You know I believe in spirits and all that stuff. I'm just a little skeptical with everything you've been through. But please know I don't think you're lying." She smiled slightly and I nodded.

"I know, I just appreciate you trying to take it seriously. Pam just flipped out on me and left." I had barely eaten my pizza, oh well.

"I'm sure she's just hurting. She doesn't believe in that stuff and she's probably jealous. Because if its real I'm sure she wishes he was talking to her too." She shrugged and took another piece of pizza.

"Neither did I until I started seeing him…"

"I know, and that's why I know you're for real Sookie. You were always the logical one and Eric was the dreamer. We all knew that. He was always shooting for the stars and you had to reign him in to what was reasonable." She smiled, probably thinking of one of the many times I did exactly that. "But I guess since this time you're not reeling him in, he really is pushing the limits on everything eh? He always said anything was possible."

I nodded and was happy I did not get misty eyed over the memories. We finished up lunch and I felt much better. Amelia was not 100% convinced but she was giving me a chance and was open to it. I knew once I had more experiences I would be able to get her on my side and believing. At least I could talk to her about it now. It was like one weight was lifted off my chest.

For the afternoon I parted ways with Amelia. She had to go into work and also run some errands. So I decided to take advantage of my positive mood. I wanted to enjoy my memories of Eric without crying my eyes out. Today it seemed like I could handle that. I had a destination in mind but made a few stops along the way at the local shops. I even popped in and visited with Sophie-Anne a bit. I told her Eric was still very much around and that I spoke with him at the lighthouse again. She was friendly and a great listener. I really was starting to think of her as my friend.

By the time I made it to the docks it was evening. I don't know how time went by so quickly. But summer was coming so the air was not too cold. I zipped up my jacket though as I stepped onto Eric's boat. I had not been able to be near the thing for five minutes without feeling upset. But right now it was nice and it felt good to do something I know he loved so much.

I got the boat ready and just as the sun was starting to set I left the docks. The sky was cloudy but it wasn't raining or anything. I was decent at driving the boat since Eric taught me. I had no plans of going far. It was relaxing and I enjoyed the cool wind on my face. I made it to just outside the harbor, the area where Eric had taken me on our first date. I cut the engine and looked back at the harbor's glistening lights. A small part of me ached as I looked at the empty seat beside me. Eric was supposed to be there with ice cream, laughing and smiling.

"Get it together Sookie. You came out here to enjoy his memory, not ball your eyes out." I reasoned with myself and relaxed some. Apparently I relaxed too much because when I opened my eyes it was hours later and it was raining. I wondered how long it had been raining. Then I realized the boat was rocking way too much.

"Shit" I stood up and looked around. It was pitch black out and the waves had gotten bigger, definitely too much for the fairly small boat Eric had. The rocking motion was starting to make me want to vomit. I quickly started the engine and tried to turn the boat back in towards the harbor. The waves were pushing me towards a rocky outcropping though. The rain was falling in sheets now. This is what I got for not checking the weather before coming out here. I had no idea what I was thinking.

My body was soaked to the bone and I squinted to try and see where the rocks were in the water. I tried turning the boat again when the engine suddenly stalled out. "Shit, shit, shit!" I ran to the other end of the boat to fire it up again. That was a big mistake. At that moment the boat slammed into a rock and I heard the metallic scraping and snapping. My feet slipped from the abrupt motion and over the side of the boat I went.

I plunged into the cold Maine ocean water. I grazed a rock on the way down and could feel my leg throbbing. I kicked my feet, not sure which direction I was sending myself in. I just had to do something though. I couldn't just float there. Finally my head broke the surface and I gasped for air. My swimming in combination with the current had taken me a decent distance from the boat. I couldn't even see it in the darkness and rain.

"Help! Somebody help!" I screamed into the dark night. I gasped for more air and quickly decided yelling was a waste of energy. I was a good swimmer but I was no Olympian and the water was cold. My time was running short as I kicked my legs and paddled with arms to say afloat in the choppy waves. Maybe I would be with Eric sooner than I thought. Part of me wondered what the point was in fighting it, I had nothing to really live for.

As I continued to tread water in the frigid ocean, in the middle of the night, fighting for my life… it made me think of another night not long ago where a life was lost.

_Three weeks ago…_

"Eric! Cut it out!" I yelled at him and ducked behind Pam's car. I heard a thud and knew the snowball had hit her vehicle instead of me. I quickly balled up my own clump of snow then stood and hurled it at him. I got him right in the face.

"Ha! That's what you get for starting a snowball fight when you're over thirty years old. Jerk." I grinned and stepped out from behind the car. Eric ran at me and grabbed me.

"No way, snowball fights are for all ages." He laughed and proceeded to shove snow down the front of my jacket while holding me by my waist. There was no escape.

"You're such a jerk you know that?" I shook the snow out of my coat and none of it had soaked in too much yet thankfully. Eric and I were still laughing and pushing each other around like teenagers when Pam came out. Seriously you never would have thought we had been married for two years already.

"Both of you just made me throw up in my mouth a little." She stated matter of factly then made her way to the car. Jack and Nora waved from the doorway since it was snowing out. We all had a little Northman get together at their place for Jack's birthday.

We waved back then hopped into our own car to head home. It was snowing pretty hard outside now. I looked out the window at the beautiful white flakes falling like confetti from the dark skies. This was quite the surprise turn in weather. It was very late for a snow storm. Technically it was just the start of spring, but it was Maine so sometimes the winter held on a bit longer up here. The snowfall was not expected to be more than four inches and to us that was nothing. We had storms with two feet of snow plenty of the time.

"It's so peaceful when it's snowing." I said quietly.

"Mmm, it's nice. It kind of brings the whole world to a stop for a little while." Eric reached over for my hand and I could feel his was still cool from making snowballs.

"You're going to get out of work early tomorrow right?" I had asked Eric to get half the day off so we could both go to the doctor's. We were finally going to have some tests run and see if there was anything going on with either of our bodies, that might be stopping us from having a baby.

"Yes, I'll get to the house about 12:30 and we can head straight there." He released my hand to reach over and turn the radio on.

"I really hope everything is okay." I was still worrying.

"It will be fine. I'm sure things will be okay, and if things don't work out we still have each other. And I know I feel pretty lucky to just have that." He gently squeezed my hand again and I turned mine so I could intertwine our fingers.

"Yeah, you're right. We are pretty lucky." I smiled over at him and Eric's blue eyes were sparkling in the moonlight. Wait no…. there was no moon tonight it was snowing.

"Eric!" I screamed and he quickly looked back at the road. The headlights from another car were bright and blinding us as they shined into the car. The other car was swerving sharply onto our side of the road. I could have sworn I saw the silhouette of a moose running off the edge of the road. The roads were slippery with snow and the car smashed into us. I think it hit the side of the car but I don't really know. I just know we ended up going flying off the edge of the road and into a ditch.

It felt like I was being tossed around in a dryer as my body slammed around and fought against the seatbelt I had on. Finally there was one more big smash as the front end rammed into the ground and I was pitched forward. Then everything went black.

I slowly opened my eyes and could hear a strange sound. My head was throbbing. Where was I? I tried to move and realized I was leaning forward against my seatbelt. Then it all came rushing back. We were in a car accident. The car was pitched forward in the ditch, the engine steaming and making weird noises. "Eric?" My voice was hoarse and my throat felt dry. I could also feel blood dripping down the side of my face.

There was no reply. I looked over to find his seat empty. What the hell? Then I finally looked in front of me and noticed the windshield was smashed. "Fuck" Eric had a terrible habit of not putting his seatbelt on. He must have gone through the windshield. No, no, no… I kept chanting in my mind. He had to be okay. It took all of my strength to push myself back and get the seatbelt undone. The second I did I fell forward onto the dash and hit my head again. "Shit!" I reached up and wipe at the already existing cut on my forehead. The blood was getting in the way of my vision.

I shoved the car door open and it squeaked and screamed on its bent frame. I got out though and landed on my knees in the muddy ditch. I was wearing jeans and flats and managed to scale my way out of the ditch pretty fast. My body was aching but I ignored it. I had to find my husband.

"Eric? Eric!" I was yelling and wandering around in the dark. I got to the forest's edge and heard a muffled groan. I whipped my head around and spotted a figure lying in the sparse grass face down. I ran over and immediately recognized Eric.

"Eric! Eric, are you okay?" I kneeled down beside him and carefully rolled him onto his back. Immediately my heart plummeted. There were cuts and gashed all over his face, arms, and even his torso. There were patches of blood soaking through his white Ford t-shirt. The worst part of it all was the crimson liquid I noticed dripping from the corner of his mouth. That was a terrible sign, internal bleeding was fucking bad.

"Please Eric, please say something!" I was shaking as I pulled his head and shoulders onto my lap. One arm was over his chest and holding him by his shoulder, the other cradling his head as his eyes slowly focused on me. I bit my lip, trying to hold in the sobs threatening to escape. "Be okay, you have to be."

Eric looked up at me with crystal clear blue eyes. He did not say anything right away. Then he slowly reached up to my hand that was holding the side of his face and covered it with his own. "I love you Sookie."

I shook my head furiously. "No don't say that. That means you're giving up. An ambulance will come, just hold on until then." I had to tell him to fight. I couldn't be without him. I had no idea how to live life on my own anymore. Eric and I shared a life, there was no one without the other. He was my husband and I needed him.

He nodded slightly but I think it was just to appease me. He started to cough and his entire body stiffened and shook. I could see the pain on his face and watched helplessly as more blood spattered onto his lips with each cough. Now I was full on sobbing. The tears were running down my face and I didn't care. Eric reached up with one shaky hand and actually wiped them away. Now that he seemed to be done coughing he gave me a small smile. I had no idea how he could possibly smile at me right now. He was hurting, I was so scared this could be our last moment together.

"Don't leave me Eric. I need you, I love you so much." I cried and tried to wipe away some of the blood running down his face.

"I will always love you Sookie. I will always be here, I won't leave you." He whispered up to me, his voice hoarse and cracking. I could see the sincerity in his blue eyes like a promise for the future.

I nodded and tried to control my crying. I was sobbing so much it was hard to breathe. Eric was quiet for awhile and I just held him as the snow fell down on us. There were scarlet stains in the snow around Eric and I, from the cuts on his arms and torso. I could see some pieces of glass in his forearm but there was no point in putting him through the discomfort of removing it at this point.

"Can you do me one last favor?" Eric looked up at me with glassy eyes. I don't know if it was from physical pain or emotional. Maybe both.

I nodded. "Anything"

"Kiss me" I was not expecting that. Actually I have no idea what I expected. What was I supposed to say while I held my dying husband in my arms? I don't think anyone thinks about this until they're at least in their seventies. Yet here we were… Eric was thirty-one and I was watching the life seep out of him on the side of the road.

I was shaking with the fear of losing him as I leaned down. I could feel Eric shaking in my arms and I suspected it was because his body was fighting a losing battle. I pressed my trembling lips against his but kept my eyes open. Eric did the same and I looked into his burning blue eyes one last time. I could feel him respond, his warm lips moving against mine. However it was not like a normal kiss from Eric, it did not feel like passion cloaked in an affectionate gesture. It felt like goodbye.

When I pulled back, our noses still touching, Eric gave me one last small smile. Then his eyes slowly shut and I could feel his raspy breathing stop. I was surrounded by silence, it was quiet enough I could hear the snow falling. "Eric?" I shook him slightly but he was gone. I burst into a fresh round of tears. "I love you, I'll always love you Eric." I hugged him closer and desperately clinged to my husband for what was probably the last time. Then I heard the wailing of the ambulance sirens and noticed the other people from the accident limping across the street towards me. I never moved though. I just held on to Eric, whispering to him how much I loved him, praying he could hear me wherever he was now.

_Present Day…_

Those thoughts made me want to cry all over again as I tried to keep my head above water. That was the worst night of my life, definitely worse than this one. At least with this one I might end up with Eric. To me that was definitely a positive. I was tired now, so tired. I had been tired for weeks and wanting to give up. My muscles were cramping in the cold water and the rain was drowning me from above.

So I gave up. I stopped swimming. I was tired, I felt beaten, and I had no reason to go on. I shut my eyes and let the water take me.

That was when I felt two strong arms wrap around me just as I started to sink under the surface. My eyes shot open and there was Eric, less than inches from my face. He was in the water just like I was, soaked from the rain. But he was not swimming. He had his arms around me, and only his shoulders and head were above the water. I could feel he was not kicking and definitely not paddling since both of his arms were locked around my torso hugging me against him. His hair was plastered down from the rain and water ran down his skin.

"Don't give up Sookie" He commanded and I realized I must not be dead yet. I was not that lucky. I paid more attention and noticed he had on the outfit from the night he died, just like ghost Eric. Except we were not in the lighthouse and I was seeing him and he even looked and felt pretty damn real. He was warm and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I was shivering from the cold water.

"Why not?" I mumbled.

"You have to live Sookie, you have a reason to." He insisted and I could see the determination in his cobalt eyes.

"you're my reason Eric, and you're gone." I wanted to just be with him and be done. How could he deny me that?

"You have another reason, remember when I said you wouldn't be alone long?" I nodded my head.

"That's your reason." Eric said and suddenly it clicked in my brain. Holy shit, there was a reason to fight. I finally realized what he had been alluding to this entire time. I had to survive this. I started to try and swim again but Eric stopped me.

"Don't, I won't let you go. You're going to be okay Sookie, I'm not leaving you." Eric kept hugging me close and I kept my arms around his neck. Somehow he was able to float and be my personal life raft. It was a miracle, or just proved that true love had no limits. So I held onto Eric, my forehead resting against his while we drifted along through the waves together. At one point he tilted his head and kissed me. I swear it felt the same as it always had. It was not the chilly sensation of Eric's ghostly form. It felt like he did in my dreams, real and alive. I let my fingers slide into his hair since he was holding me up all on his own.

Eric was my anchor, keeping me from drifting off into the rocky ledges lining the shore. In fact I could see his anchor tattoo through his soaked white t-shirt sleeve. He never let me go and it felt like an hour that I was just staring into his eyes before a huge search light blinded us.

I opened my eyes to the light and spotted the Coast Guard helicopter. Then I strangely felt the warmth of Eric fading away. "Keep fighting Sookie" I heard his voice and then he was gone. I was swimming on my own again as one of the coast guard men came down from the helicopter with a basket to rescue me. But if anyone ever asked, it was my husband who rescued me that night.

_a/n: so I think literally everyone has guessed her surprise so far lol, I hope ya'll aren't drowning in a puddle of tears from that. Hit that review button and share your thoughts with me pretty please!_


	10. Chapter 10

_a/n: so this unexpectedly became the final chapter to this story. I was thinking I would end at 12 but it just seemed like things could be neatly tied up in this one chapter so that's what happened. Enjoy and thanks for reading…_

CHAPTER 10

I didn't stay at the hospital very long. They wanted me to stay overnight but I called Amelia to give me a ride home. I couldn't call Pam since she was pissed at me for trying to explain that Eric's ghost was here. I didn't want things to be bad between us but I also was not going to give in. This was real even though Pam could not handle it. I shook off my pesky thoughts when Amelia arrived, a blubbering mess, to give me a ride home. She was freaking out about how she thought she lost me too. It was a bit strange that I was the one in hospital yet I was calming her down.

Once Amelia was together enough to drive we got into her car to head home. "So are you sure you're fine?" She asked for the millionth time.

"Ames I'm fine the doctor's did not find anything but a few scratches on me." I looked out the window and watched the dark woods blur by.

"It's a miracle, thank god you made it out alive." Amelia was still not over her worries. I couldn't blame her, it had to be hard on her to think she lost another friend so soon. Her and Eric were not best buddies but they became friends over time once I started dating him.

"You can thank Eric." I was quiet and slowly looked in her direction. Amelia's green eyes darted over to me cautiously before returning to the road.

"I'd ask you to explain but I don't know if I'd even understand it. But I believe you have someone looking out for you Sook." There was a soft smile on her face and it made me feel good that she was still on my side.

Once Amelia dropped me off at the house I ran upstairs with one purpose in mind. I had a box of pregnancy tests sitting in the bathroom cabinet, from when Eric and I were trying. Turning the bathroom light on, I kneeled down and opened the bottom cabinet and found the pink box. There was only one test left. As I took it out I realized my hands were trembling.

"Deep breaths, keep calm, you've done this about a hundred times by now." I rationalized with myself. Except every other time I got a big old negative laughing in my face. This time was different.

I carefully followed the directions as usual and put the little cap back on the stick after I did my business. Now I just had to wait. Every second seemed to drag by slower and slower. How could time be so freaking slow? I wandered out of the bathroom and tried to neaten up and even put away some clothes. I'd rather wait a few minutes than return too early. Patience. Patience.

Finally it seemed like enough time had elapsed and I went back to the bathroom. The stick was sitting on the edge of the counter and my heart was racing as I stepped closer. This could change everything. I took one last step and peered down at the little window where a plus or minus symbol should be-it was a plus sign. I was pregnant.

Now I just needed to figure out how to feel. At first I felt nothing and like a robot put the stick into the trash and shut the bathroom light off. I wandered to my room and sat down. A baby, I was having a baby all alone. I would be a single mother raising a child and trying to balance everything. Okay now I was scared to death. Could I handle this? What if I messed up? What if I couldn't afford things for my own kid? Or god forbid got fired for some reason? There were so many variables and they all made my stomach churn. I curled up in bed, which was becoming a habit, and tried to not cry. My nose was all stuffy so I reached over to the nightstand for a tissue. That was when I saw a picture I had set there of Eric and I. We were laughing in the picture and sitting on the edge of his boat on a summer day.

This was Eric's baby too. How had I forgotten that even if only for a few minutes? I let everything else overwhelm me and left out the most important piece. This was the little miracle Eric and I had been praying for before he was taken from me. This baby was a part of me, and a part of Eric. In some way I would now have a piece of Eric still living with me, going through each day learning, laughing, and loving. That warmed the cold nerves in my gut. I smiled and leaned back in bed. I was going to have our baby and I had full confidence Eric would be around to see it. I might not be able to see or touch him but I would know he was around watching our child grow up. I went to sleep feeling content for the first time in a long time and determined to do my best at this new facet of my life.

Two weeks later I had taken another home pregnancy test and also had a visit to the doctor to get everything confirmed. Once I got the positive from my doctor I told Jack and Nora the good news. At first they were a bit cautious but the second they realized I was happy about it, they showed their true colors and were overjoyed. I think they just did not want me to feel bad if I actually was unhappy about it, since that would have been a reasonable reaction considering the situation. Instead we all were looking at the glass half full. Jack's eyes were watering and Nora was jumping up and down in her kitchen. I swear to god she was. I had also told my parents one night when they visited for dinner. Everyone was being supportive and excited.

I had one person left to tell now and that was Pam. We had not spoken since our spat a few weeks ago. I nervously dialed the phone and waited for her to pick up.

"Make it fast, I'm on my way to the salon" Pam never looked at the caller ID on her cell she just answered, and always in a rude way.

"Hey, it's Sookie"

"Oh, hi.." Yeah that changed her damn tune didn't it?

"Listen I know we had a bit of an argument last time we spoke, but could you come over tonight? I have some news I'd rather share in person." I hoped she just said yes and did not argue.

"…..alright, I'll be there after the salon." She hung up without saying bye. Typical. At least she was coming by though. It was amazing how those tiny things about Pam only annoyed me when I was pissed at her.

Pam knocked on the door promptly at six o'clock. I let her in and we ended up at the kitchen table. I was nervous but oddly enough Pam seemed out of sorts too. Usually she was fine even if she had just yelled at someone. We sat in awkward silence for a few minutes until Pam finally spoke first.

"Sookie….you won't hear me say this often but, I'm sorry." It was like pulling teeth to get the words out of her mouth. She seemed to be in physical pain from it.

"Thanks" I answered quietly and met her gaze.

"Even if I don't believe in that ghost stuff, it shouldn't matter. I know you're not crazy and if anyone would decide to be Casper the ghost it'd be my dorky brother. He always liked that crap." Pam stopped there and was drumming her fingers on the table. I knew that was the best apology I would get from Pam. She would never admit she flipped out because she was in pain and missing him, but just hearing she was sorry was more than enough.

I smiled. "Thank you, that really is a weight off my shoulders. I hated feeling like things were bad between us. " I did not want to lose anyone I loved. Pam was included in that list.

"So what did you drag me down here for?" Yep, Pam was just her normal self.

"I have some big news….." I hoped she would take this well. "I'm pregnant."

Pam just stared at me then narrowed her eyes. "It better be my brother's."

"What?! Of course it is! You know we were trying to have a baby for almost a year. I would never chea-" I was freaking out.

Pam was laughing. "Sookie! Calm the fuck down! I was kidding with you!" She was still chuckling, jerk.

I leaned back with a sigh and tried to let all the adrenaline that had just pumped up in my veins seep away. "Don't scare me like that. I'm pregnant and need to be handled with care."

"Oh please, using the pregnant lady excuses already?" She raised an eyebrow at me. God that reminded me of Eric. The both of them had the same expression when they did that. "I'm happy for you though. It's good news and you know Aunt Pam is going to spoil the hell out of this kid right? Especially if it's a girl."

I started cracking up. How weird was it to hear her refer to herself as Aunt Pam? The rest of the evening went well. Pam stayed a bit longer and we got caught up and even argued about when she would be allowed to buy makeup if it was a girl. I was happy, really happy, and it felt good to feel that way again. I went to sleep that night with a smile.

I opened my eyes an hour later and was delighted to find Eric sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. "Hey"

"Hi" He reached over and squeezed my hand. "You're okay? Both of you?"

I sat up some and nodded with a smile.

"I think that's the biggest smile I've seen in weeks. It looks good on you." He was dressed as usual in my dreams, in his black sleep shorts and nothing else. I wondered for a second if that was something he controlled or my mind projected what it was used to seeing him in. Oh well, it wasn't an important question.

"Yeah well, it's been a bit tough to be happy. But I am now, there's something to smile about everyday from now on." I wished he was alive, but I was happy to at least share this with him on some level. It was much better than him being completely gone and having no idea if he would ever know about his child.

Eric moved so he was sitting in the middle of the bed facing me. Apparently he was in a chatty mood instead of a cuddly one. I was pretty sure I was down for some cuddles even if it was a damn dream. "So you're happy? I was worried you might not be. I know it won't be the same as we talked about…" His voice faded off on a rather depressing note.

I scooted closer and wrapped both of his hands in mine, sitting so our knees were touching. Of course his hands were huge so it was more like sort of holding each one. "I know it won't be but that doesn't change how happy I am. We wanted this for so long and now we have it. This baby is a part of me and most importantly a part of you. A living and breathing piece of you. I just have to do my best to not screw up." I smiled a little.

"Sookie that's impossible. You're all organized and rational. You're a perfect Mom. Then when you feel like you need a break just force Pam to babysit and change diapers." He chuckled and I had to laugh with him.

"She called herself Aunt Pam today. It was weird. If it's a girl I'm dreading what Pam will buy for her." I was picturing tons of expensive clothes and makeup by age four.

"She'll act like she hates the kid at first, but deep down she's going to be the biggest sap out of all of us. I'm sure my mom freaked out?" Eric knew how Nora was about grandkids. Everyone knew.

"Oh yes she started jumping up and down and your Dad was really happy too. I think all of them just want to feel closer to you again." I still had no idea why Eric could not appear to them and neither did he. We talked about it once and he even tried to appear to Pam. For some reason it did not work that way and only I could see him like this.

I could see his face darken some at my words. Eric wanted to be there for everyone still. I knew he wanted to be alive and a part of things. He was always close with both of his parents and Pam. So there would be quite a few lives he was forced to simply watch pass by him and no longer be able to take part in them. I was silently praying out child might be able to see him. Even if it was only a few times, or only in their dreams it would be nice. He, or she, would get to know their father in some sense.

"You know I'm never going to shut up about you once this baby is born right?" I smiled and hoped to cheer him up some. "I'm constantly going to be telling this kid how amazing their Dad is, and handsome of course."

Eric seemed hesitant. "Is? I'm not sure that word pertains to me anymore Sookie."

"Yes it does, because you're still here. I'm not going to talk about you like it's in the past when I know for a fact you're still the same great guy I met years ago. You're just on a different frequency now." Thank god for Sophie-Anne's awesome metaphors to explain some of this.

I must have said the right thing because next thing I knew Eric was kissing me. God he was always so good at that and I would always be amazed at how real my dreams felt. I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around his neck, pushing Eric back onto the bed. I might as well take advantage of my barely clothed husband while I could right? It was nice to just forget about everything and just get lost in him for as long as my dream would let us… and that was exactly what we did.

_One year later…_

I had been without Eric for over a year now and I could honestly say things had gotten a bit better. I did not cry everyday and for the most part I had my life on track. Of course I had my sad days but usually I fixed those by visiting Sophie or going to the lighthouse. He was always there waiting for me. My husband might be dead but that didn't mean he was not still there everyday looking out for me and most importantly our child. I had only seen Eric's ghost when I was awake at the lighthouse. But there were two exceptions to that: the night I almost died in the ocean, and the morning our daughter was born. A few minutes after I had her and was holding her for the first time I looked up to smile at Nora, and ended up seeing Eric in a small mirror that was on the wall behind her. He was standing right by my head and smiling down at the baby in my arms. It was probably the best moment of my life knowing he was there with us.

Our daughter Riley was four months old now. She was absolutely beautiful. Her head was covered in soft blonde hair and she had Eric's arctic blue eyes. She was perfect and quickly became the center of my world. I still worked at the aquarium part-time and would be returning to my full-time spot soon. Sam had been wonderful about giving me time off to be with Riley. If it was up to me I'd spend everyday with her watching her smile and learn something new.

But the real world was still out there and I was okay with that now. I had my daughter, a great family, and I still saw Eric in my dreams all the time. He constantly asked about Riley even though I knew he was around during the day watching her when I couldn't see him. It was a strange way to continue our relationship but it was enough for us. We were both willing to wait until we could be together completely again. The best part was one night I was putting Riley in her crib and I noticed her giggling. I was not making any faces or sounds though so I focused on her eyes. That was when I noticed her looking just above my right shoulder at what to me was empty air. I remember asking her if Daddy was with us and then one of the lamps turned on as if to confirm my answer. Some people might have been freaked out by that but I wasn't. It warmed my heart to know Riley was interacting with her father and able to see him like I could.

As stopped over to visit the Northman's one afternoon with Riley I noticed tiny snowflakes starting to fall. I paused in the yard and just let the peaceful silence envelope me. That was when I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me. I couldn't see anything but I knew it was him. I smiled and looked down at Riley who was already smiling away. The feeling started to fade away then I heard Nora calling for us to come inside from the front door. "Love you Eric" I whispered and with a smile I headed into the brightly lit house. My life had not turned out as I expected but I knew in the end everything was going to work out for us.

_a/n: that's it for this story folks. I hope you all enjoyed reading, and hopefully I didn't make you cry too much! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this story! Right now I'm working on a sequel to 'About a Girl and a Boy' so that will be the next thing I'm posting. I hope ya'll stick around and read that one too once its up. =)_


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